| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mayor Whanau, may we remind you |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | This is the Wellington Council building |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | You can reach it by bus, train, or [gasp] car |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But you must actually attend work. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The people of Wellington expect you to show up for work. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The public transport system takes too long |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The buses don't show up. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mayor... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Public transport |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Public transport is something we are responsible for. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Get Wellington Moving...remember |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | The communications and social media team can leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | No one told me I would have to attend events! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I'm the mayor! I thought I just do whatever I want! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | If I am hungover or tired I will not work! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What use is it having all these staff? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Why can't they go to meetings for me? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The citizenship ceremonies put me to sleep. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Why don't we serve booze at them? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | No one told me being mayor would be such a ball ache |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | It is a big responsibility. The people have expectations. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | F*** the people! All they do is demand. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They say Wellington is in decline, Mayor. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | In decline? The foodie scene is amazeballs! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Whinging, ungrateful... |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I bet they're all bigots! Every person who complains |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | about me is racist, TERFy, & denies climate change. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Does that old cis white man in Auckland go to meetings? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Of course he does! Meetings are Pakeha-centric! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Heteronormative! Expecting me to be on time is patriarchal! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I go to the photo ops - that is the important thing. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | That saggy Auckland a**hole can't look sad on camera |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Not like I can. Real tears, I tell you. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I have perfected the virtue signal. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Who needs working drainage when we can stand up for Palestine. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Make sure buses run on time? No! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Light up the Michael Fowler Centre in the trans flag! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | My friends who all work in the public service |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | assure me this is what matters not crumbling infrastructure. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | What do I pay you idiots for? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You should be doing the boring work for me. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, she loves our TikToks. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If I do these Zooms can I leave my camera off? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Then I can stay in my PJs and go back to sleep after. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's called Working From Home. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The whole public service does it. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I will compromise and start attending events... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | but only ones that are serving alcohol. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | How long is a mayoral term? |
