| 00:00 - 00:03 | There are farmers coming from every direction |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Bailye and his boys from Lichfield |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Williams on a battered caoch from Leominster |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Wardy bringing a full train from the Fens |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And someone calling himself Ollyblogs from Liverpool |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | At least the NFU are staying away |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And we haven't got that Batters woman to worry about anymore |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Prime Minister |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The NFU aren't staying away |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Their new guy is worse than Batters |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's like terrier on speed and he's bringing 2000 farmers into parliament |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Reeves, Reed, Murray, Zeichner. The rest of you out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Who was decided to piss off the farmers? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I spent years making Labour acceptable to the rural seats |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I bought a pair of fucking wellies. I traipsed through cow shit. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I even went to NFU conference and promised them the Earth. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And they all believed me. I've got 100 rural seats and a massive majority. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | All we needed to do was give them a bit more cash. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And then Reeves starts a class war! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | You know the Treasury have loads of mad ideas that we need to reject. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But we are going to get Dyson to pay some tax. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fucking hell Reeves. We've picked a fight with most trusted profession in the country. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But you said a D-Max ran you off the road in the Lakes last year |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't bloody take their pick-ups away |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Are they meant to drive a VW Caddy? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And then Reed has cut short their direct payments by two years |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Farmers don't trust DEFRA to get money out the door |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | a place where a five year old would have better ideas |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | It took them nine months to shell out |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | for farms that got flooded last year |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And then they got that wrong. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I've seen better functioning chocolate fireguards. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I bet it was one of those fanatics too |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | who decided to throw a £50/t carbon tax on fertiliser |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | without talking to anyone first |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Finally, fucking IHT |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Who did the figures? Some junior treasury wanker? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | It wouldn't be hard to see we're shafting working farmers |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Everyone can see we're looking after pony paddocks |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Your two departments couldn't even agree the figures |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I've got that bloody terrier from the NFU making us look like twats |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, your allotment in Islington will fall outside the bounds of APR |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Now we're stuck with this shite decision |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I thought we'd got away with it |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Businesses could have made our lives hard |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | but they rolled over and took the NI hit |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Now we've got to deal with a bunch of irate farmers |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | who won't stop making our lives miserable |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It's going to be a long winter. |
