| 00:00 - 00:03 | Chad's triglycerides are up and we just got even worse news |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Myles Garrett has asked |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | to be traded out of Cleveland |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He informed the Browns of his decision |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and he will be leaving Ohio in 2025. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This can't be real |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | You are high or mistaken |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | CP Gent |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Twitter |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | He tweeted a goodbye letter |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | to his fans and the city of Cleveland. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I just farted and shit came out, so very soon soon this room will smell like my soul |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I just bought his fucking jersey! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I got it in Brown! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I also got the mother fucking throwback! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The god damn orange one |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | is literally sitting in my god damn |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | mother fucking closet! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I was going to wear it tomorrow! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Now I have to keep it with my other useless jerseys |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | He simply wants a Super Bowl |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Baker fucking Mayfield is killing it right now |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Johnny Manziel is broke and sad |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Amari Cooper left once I bought his jersey |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Lee Suggs |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Peyton Hillis |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | he was on the fucking cover of Madden |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | My Browns jerseys are all on the clearance rack |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | and Myles Garrett leaving really fucks up my jersey rotation |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I wish for pain and suffering for my friends, why is it happening to me instead?! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Shoe Shine is going to laugh at me |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Kevin's team is in the Super Bowl again and I hate it! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Even Dino's team made the playoffs this year! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | This, plus Serota winning fantasy football is sickening |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | All of my friends are happy lately |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | and I absolutely |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | fucking hate every second that my friends smile |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I want them to be miserable |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | like I am every day! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Ohio State winning was good |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | but seeing other people sad is so much better |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | The Eagles might not win the Super Bowl |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If Kevin's team wins it all again |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I will have a fucking heart attack |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | He calls and texts |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | but sounds happy so I ignore them all |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I just want to hear his voice after the Chiefs win again |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I hope he sounds like Shoe after trading Burrow away |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I just shit my pants again. |
