| 00:00 - 00:03 | This map shows you were Puerto Rico is... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They are an island in the Atlantic Ocean. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We had no need to campaign here... |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | ... but you visited during your Presidency. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | You tossed around paper towels like an NBA player. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I was air-bucketing shots... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...like a Mexican Brawny Man. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Supreme leader... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Puerto Ricans aren't - |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They aren't Mexicans. They are Americans. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Many of them have relatives that vote. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you did not know Puerto Rico was part of America, you may leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Where was this news before the MSG rally!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The United States is supposed to be united. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | That means TOUCHING. No islands. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's this simple. Can I drive there? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Are you telling me no??? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Then it can't be part of America. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | How many maps have you been hiding from me?! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I want to see ALL these so-called "united" states!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Is this about the 'floating piece of garbage' comment. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | What floating piece of garbage comment?!? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | The opening speaker at your rally- |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Did he tell the entire world we have islands?? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Ever heard of a tug boat? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Someone could be pulling it away right now! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Now I have to think about this. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | We need some sort of bike-lock but for an island. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | What does a regular bike lock cost? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We would have to multiply that by a million. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Maybe even a billion. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | A billion dollar island bike lock. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Or we could just let it get stolen. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | But then our weaker peninsulas will get dragged off next. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We have got to secure Florida. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Glue. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I have always said if you want to keep your stuff... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | ... label it and glue it down. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I had a Hawaiian roll sandwich... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | ...stolen from the fridge this week. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Next you will tell me Hawaii is an island too! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I'll cross out South Carolina and write in Hawaii on all the maps. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | You said these Puerto Ricans... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | ...have relatives that can vote for me? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | What if I reached out to them... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'll promise to build the Island Bike Lock |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | A really secure one. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | 5 digit combo code. Alpha-numeric. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | They will have to pay for it though. |
