| 00:00 - 00:03 | The latest WWDC has concluded |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Apple has announced |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | new tools for language translation. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They have also shown charting tools, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and new transition animations. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We should add features to our roadmap |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | integrating these new APIs. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | These APIs… |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | These APIs are SwiftUI only. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They can only be accessed via view modifiers. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Any engineer who built frameworks with Objective-C - leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck are you doing to our platform?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Magic attributes and type-erased bags of shit! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Do you remember Scott Forstall, or the Quartz graphics system? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Have you even heard of key-value observation? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Or are you all toddlers? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How are developers supposed to build apps |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | with this cookie-cutter, join-the-dots |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | colouring-in book kind of tooling?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Developers may use UIHostingController in their UIKit hierarchies |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck your hosting controller! The layout systems are not interoperable! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, we must retain developer mindshare. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Why? So we can have JavaScript monkeys invade our App Store? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | React Native weenies - |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | who wouldn't know a retain cycle |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | if it bloated their DOM to 3GB?! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Our APIs built the first web browser! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | They revolutionised the Macintosh with Mac OS X! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And changed the world with the iPhone! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And now you give me @UIApplicationDelegateAdaptor. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Fucking @StateObjectObservableObject! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And you change the navigation API every year. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How is anyone suppose to know what to use |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | when you don't even provide documentation? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | All you give developers |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | is WWDC code-along videos made for CBeebies |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | from a parade of hipsters with shitty little beards |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | showing how to make trivial little views |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | using a LazyHGrid, because developers |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | are too stupid to learn Auto Layout! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, you can still use UIStackView. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We used to draw in to CALayers. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We were real men. We were artists. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Now… |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | we just annotate View properties with attributes. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We might as well all learn Flutter, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and let the world know |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | that we're all dribblers now. |
