Jeff Bezos decides to sue everyone better than him
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• 7/4/2024Behind the scenes what happened at a blu origin meeting where they decided to try to sue their competitors instead of building functional rockets.
00:00 - 00:03 | Last year Spacex launched more than half of the world mass to orbit |
00:04 - 00:05 | Soon they will start |
00:05 - 00:07 | Launhing starship from Cape Carneval |
00:08 - 00:12 | They will be launching the biggest rocket ever made |
00:12 - 00:15 | several times a day |
00:17 - 00:21 | It's ok. We will just sue Spacex and use lawfare |
00:20 - 00:21 | to ban them from launching |
00:23 - 00:26 | Jeff Bozos |
00:27 - 00:29 | Berger |
00:31 - 00:34 | Eric Berger and all other space nerds are hating you and laughing at us. |
00:34 - 00:36 | You are attacking the future of spaceflight |
00:53 - 00:58 | Leave! Except anyone at this company who actually is an engineer |
01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!? |
01:15 - 01:17 | I am the biggest space boy in the world! |
01:18 - 01:23 | They wrote prophecies about a bald vampire |
01:25 - 01:28 | that would force his workers to pee in bottles |
01:29 - 01:31 | and be worshipped as the smartest tech genius in the world |
01:31 - 01:34 | Now my small dick rocket joyride barely works |
01:34 - 01:37 | And new glenn is nowhere near its first launch |
01:37 - 01:40 | How the fuck have we only launched 7 crewed new shepards? |
01:40 - 01:42 | My fürher Bezos. Crewed spaceflight is hard. |
01:42 - 01:46 | IT'S BARELY SPACEFLIGHT! IT'S SUBORBITAL YOU FUCKING CUCK! |
01:46 - 01:48 | But new glenn is soon ready |
01:48 - 01:52 | It's been "soon ready" for more than 8 years |
01:53 - 01:54 | it was supposed to launch 2020! |
01:56 - 01:57 | Let's sue everyone |
01:57 - 02:00 | who says any negative thing about me |
02:00 - 02:03 | or is better than me at building rockets |
02:04 - 02:08 | I was supposed establish a new space economy |
02:08 - 02:13 | where I can circumvent labour laws in outer space and enslave amazon workers |
02:14 - 02:16 | I don't want to pay workers! |
02:17 - 02:21 | Or maybe build forced labour camps in space modeled after Stalin's Gulags |
02:27 - 02:29 | I never studied rocket science in the academy |
02:30 - 02:34 | But I got rich, super filthy rich. |
02:34 - 02:36 | And isn't that enough?! |
02:41 - 02:42 | Traitors |
02:43 - 02:47 | You all engineers betrayed me |
02:48 - 02:53 | I only wanted people to think that I earned my riches by myself |
02:54 - 02:56 | I payed others to make me look smart |
02:56 - 02:59 | But no money in the world can do that |
03:00 - 03:03 | All I am is a stupid and ruthless capitalis with a small dick |
03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok. He will still need plastic bimbos to squirt champagne on |
03:14 - 03:16 | The call us "Barely Orbital" with "blue balls" |
03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe it's impossible to reach orbit with nothing but a huge ego |
03:25 - 03:26 | and a penis complex |
03:31 - 03:33 | The space race is lost |
03:40 - 03:46 | But at least we can ruin space for everyone else. |
03:46 - 03:49 | Lets bribe congress and sue everyone that actually achieves progress |
03:53 - 03:56 | Fuck humanity. |
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