| 00:00 - 00:03 | We found Jerry Jones...and a blow up mannequin |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | as well as a jar of vaseline and a playbook |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Here at Disney, in Berlin |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Jerry was found masturbating on the It's a Small, Small World Ride |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | to pictures of Jimmy Johnson holding the Lombardi Trophy |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Fuck Jerry, I'm sure the Boys did well, what was the score. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It's only Wild Card Weekend...at home. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Emperor Palpatine... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Shitheads. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Shitheads... were not even remotely prepared... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ....and crumbled to the Cheesehead Packers like a house of cards. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I hereby order Moe, Larry, Curley, and Tinkerbell to remain in the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | These Mother Fuckers!!!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | They fucked me, Hitler Palpatine, once again! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The Cowboys are pussies. They have no balls and no direction! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | That ugly Princess Fkin Leigh red headed secretary I have could play better |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You not that ugly... |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Every year they fuck me right up the ass |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This is what they get for extending that shithead who thinks he's a Quarterback, Prescott. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and that big fat fucking suck face Bear Mcarthy who looks like a viking |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Emperor Palpatine, he has won 36 games in 3 years, he made history! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | But where's the fight, Ligger?? My dead father, could coach them better. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, I made love to your father, please that hurts me. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Fuck your feelings, Jerry Jones, and these fucking Cowboys! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They Fkin blew it again! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Each and very fucking year |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The same non-prepared Fucking horseshit |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I get so excited thinking this is the year and then when it matters most they play like garbage |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | When are we going to get a real GM who knows what the fuck to do? Fucking When??? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Every year, that blond secretary I'm hitting emails the Cowboys about this to no avail. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This asshole Jones has no clue what he's doing. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I'll fly down to Texas and rip Jerry's ugly wrinkling skin clear off his face in front of Steven |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This is beyond embarassing |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I just ordered a Pink Parsons Jersey... out of respect |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | How can I wear this now, it's over. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I drank the Kool Aid Again! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I drank the Fkin Jerry Jones Kool Aid Again! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | He told me this was our year, he promised me, that wrinkled face mother fucker! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Our year to lose again it seems. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | This time an apology and a Cdee Lamb rubber duckie won't cut it. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I want Jerry's fucking head in my pink pool to see if it floats |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I know he promised the pink pool to you, I'm sorry. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Everything is ruined |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The world will make fun of me now, in all ways. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I can see the headlines now |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Hitler still wears Pink Parsons jersey after collapse |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'll be the laughing stock of Europe... right up there with that other shithead.. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Elon Musk....the current King of Deuchbags... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Fuck me and the Cowboys... |
