| 00:00 - 00:03 | Our advertisers are fleeing, Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Hate speech is rising. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Our power users are fleeing. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The layoffs have gutted us. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And the FTC has taken notice. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Get the senior security people |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Have them fix it and ship the new features. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They're gone. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Our c-suite security executives |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They have all quit. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody out unless you paid $8 for the blue check. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you fucking kidding me? This is it? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How am i supposed to service the debt on this place |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | If these idiots won't pay to play in my public square? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How fucking hard can this be? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I LANDED A ROCKET ON A BARGE! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | A FLOATING. FUCKING. BARGE. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Do you know how hard that is? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | It's certainly harder than something as simple as free speech. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But sir, free speech is complex |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Oh don't give me that woke bullshit you Democrat. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | and we must be intentional |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | My phone is full of text messages |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | from ass-kissing VCs |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Praising me |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Offering their support and love |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and their $8. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | All these goddamn rules |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | it's as if people refused to be governed |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and are resistant to my whims and decrees |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | they ignore my fantastic wealth |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | they ridicule me. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | even though I have banned parody |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | unless you say that it's parody |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | in which case obviously then it's fine |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | unless, of course |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | it's a parody of me |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | at which point I will strike you down |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and unleash my rage as if God himself |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | were guiding my hand |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | it's ok, Jesus was verified today |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Has anyone seen how Tesla's stock is doing? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I leveraged this whole shitshow against it |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | When the banks are done with me |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | They'll probably own both the rockets and the electric cars |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Step 1. Solve Free Speech, they said. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | None of these assholes know what they're talking about. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'm so fucked. |
