| 00:00 - 00:03 | We can't wait to ride the new e-bikes we just got - |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | now that they're legal, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | we won't have to drive |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | to the middle of BFE to be able to ride in peace. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Also, those self-righteous do-gooders can't shame us on Facebook anymore |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So you guys are all in on |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | these new-fangled contraptions? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Yes, we all got e-bikes.... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | they really are fun! |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We have more range now.... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And we can ride for longer, Mein Fuehrer! |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who isn't an elite mountain biker currently, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | They historically haven't been allowed |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | to roam free on our local trails, |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | because e-bikers lack the moral purity of traditional cyclists! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And soon, average cyclists may have as much fun |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | on our sweet single track as those |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | of us who have been here suffering up these hills for years! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | These cycling infidels and miscreants shouldn't be allowed |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | to ride as fast as us! It should be....illegal! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But sir, shouldn't everyone enjoy bikes? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Silence fool! These e-bikers are impostors! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, don't these e-bikers have the same right... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Absolutely not! Oh, sure they pay the same taxes as us, |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | and they belong to the same |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | trail-maintenance organizations as us, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | but don't you think they've got some serious nerve |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | enjoying the trails in a different way than us? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We are working harder when we ride, and we're having less fun. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Doesn't that seem fundamentally wrong to you guys? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | The last thing I want to see when I'm pounding |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | up Pet-E-Kes is to some cupcake eating lard-ass making me look like I'm sitting still! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I don't ride because it's fun. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You all know this. Everybody knows this. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I ride because it reminds me that |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I'm a better person than the slobs |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | down at the gym riding that stupid elliptical machine, |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | or worse yet, those damn dog walkers. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | How else will I feel better than everyone |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | else now that anyone can access the places that only |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | a few skinny, elite athletes have ever seen? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He doesn't mean you, Karen. You're just big-boned. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And to add insult to injury.... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They're polluting Strava. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It makes me sick. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I had a few KOM's that I know will never stand now. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Sometimes I wonder why I even use HGH and testosterone. Why do I bother? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | If hard-core mountain biking is going to remain exclusive, |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | some people just need to be excluded. |
