| 00:00 - 00:03 | I need all portfolio managers in here at once |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | This is a map of all available investment options we had in 2017 |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Treasuries here. Equities over here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Real estate, bitcoin, and precious metals - like gold. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And then this. The Tesla 2025 Senior Notes |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | As I understand it, you are saying that you could have chosen from |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | literally anything on earth |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | It was Steiner over at Goldman Sachs |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Steiner assured us this was a good investment |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you deployed capital in FANG, real estate, cryptos - you may go |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | These bonds were rated as junk! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Do you know WTF that means? JUNK! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I would rather you told me you bought Dryships at $70 pre 6 reverse splits ago! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Dryships. Dryships is better than this |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | At least they have collateral! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You bought junk bonds with no claims on the gigafactory! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You got duped by those squids over at Goldman Sachs again! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They trade against you! Didn't you watch the Senate hearings?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Elon Musk is our generation's Da Vinci |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Elon Musk should be barking for the yak woman! Or spreading pixie dust on a tilt-a-whirl! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer. Elon launched a car into outer space |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That is the stupidest shit I've ever heard |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Distractions from Tesla's failures! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | This madman is taking a flamethrower to the capital you gave him |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Burning it, paying back Solar City bondholders - his cousins |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Robots that can't spot weld! And those solar tiles are garbage! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | You invested the pension money ... the money that was for safe investments |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Put it into junk bonds. And now I find out they are DEEP JUNK BONDS! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You Goddamn millennial portfolio managers are worthless! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The last time interest rates were going up, you were playing with Bristle Blocks! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Its different this time, they said. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | They told me I'm too old to understand. Me. Too old. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Your incompetence is incalculable |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Simple math |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Simple math - addition and subtraction. The more they sell the more they lose! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | They cannot service the debt when the borrowing costs begin to rise. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The interest rate has been at 0 for 8 years |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Money cannot be free forever! You can't just keep printing it out of thin air! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Central banks are trimming balance sheets and LIBOR is blowing out!!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. I'm sure the bank will refi your HELOC |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | So this is how it ends |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Call our clients and tell them their retirement savings are gone. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | There was no alternative. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Retirement is cancelled. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Unless this is all just another garden variety pullback |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We are not out of business just yet |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Buy The Fukcing Dip |
