| 00:00 - 00:03 | Not all of our troops made it on time to the 1st round at Coyote Springs. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Coyote Springs is located in the middle of nowhere between Vegas and Mesquite |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | At last report, Wheatley, Rosas and McKinzie were no shows |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Scouts report they were last seen at the liquor, fireworks, laundry and taco store. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We suspect they may be at Big Bob's Boobie Shack |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | As long as they make it to Coyote Springs in time |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | for the group photo and $50 putting contest |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Tim... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Needham? |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We had to photo shop them into the group photo |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and the putting contest is always $100 |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | McFarland, Buckley, Needham, Valvo stay here...The rest, get out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The putting contest is always $50! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Always $50 Damnit! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Everyone needs to be at the group photo! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What do you want now? Gimme's? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | More Strokes? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Learn to putt and play golf you bunch of losers! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You can't make a 2 foot putt, then give up golf! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Why does everyone screw up the Desert Rule? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But, the Desert Rule is confusing |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The desert is played as a lateral Buckley It's there to help you! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Tim, it all looks like desert... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | If it's sand its desert dipshit. What's so hard about that? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Play the desert as a lateral! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Every year we go through this. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | How many clubs? How many balls? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | What about giving putts? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Why are we staying in Mesquite? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | What? You don't think 80 year old chain smoking women are beautiful? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And, no there is no Buffet Experience Valvo |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You are there for the ham steak breakfast. Order the damn ham steak and shut up! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I try to make it easy... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I set up the meals and golf. Langley keeps the scores |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | All you have to do is show up. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | ...and bring me a Crown... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | ...a Double Crown and Seven... and a breakfast taco. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Just once, bring me a double Crown and breakfast taco damn it! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and for God's sake McFarland... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Take care of business before you leave your hotel! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | The clubhouse cleaning crew should not have to clean up after you! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK. It's only once a year. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Perhaps next year we will stay in Vegas |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Or, maybe we'll go to The Villages in Florida |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Buckley? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Did you take UT and give points? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Tell me you didn't give points man. Have you learned nothing? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | When was the last time UT covered the spread... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Vince Young spent more time in the class room than you. |
