| 00:00 - 00:03 | Let me lay it out for you, my King. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | With cameras placed here, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | as well as here in the professional adult studio, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | we have seen a significant uptick in "donos" from key contributors... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and have an almost-certain lock on eighty goals hit. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So it is safe to say that... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we have FELTED the trolls. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My King... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The trolls... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The trolls are continuing to make fun of your breasts. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They are insisting that you are "buxom." |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I need Haseo, IronChefSakai, Darziak, and Blastoise91 to stay. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the FUCK are those mouth-droolers on about?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Who could possibly think I have TITS?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I'll have you know, I am only 10-15lbs overweight! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Can they not SEE it's the way my shirt FOLDS! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Who do those retards think I am, Boogie?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I stand up and WALK to my mailbox, I'm practically a professional-style athlete! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I'm the HAPPIEST and HEALTHIEST I have ever been, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and all they can concentrate on is SLANDERING my pecs! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, I regret to inform you they are also laughing at your feet- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE LAUGHING AT MY FEET?! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Relax, Sir, you just need to put socks on! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | So you just want me to BUY some socks, genius! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I don't have that many around, idiot! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Do you know how HARD I toil, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | to maintain a high-spec setup? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Do you know how many RGBs I have? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I have two cats eating me out of house and home, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I'm a blue-collar worker, busting my balls to put out FREE content. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And you DENTS can't even change the narrative about DarkSydePhil! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I should disengage all of your brakes and let you roll off a cliff! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Everyone is meant to like me now. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I have a gaming soulmate AND a podcast with Ashton... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | who I call Triple P! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I'm the King... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And yet, the trolls are STILL ratio-ing me online! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Look, Mr. Lewdacris' razz video about my moobs is 53 minutes long! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | My Kick Kingdom is full of ridiculous names! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I feel like I can trust NO-ONE around me. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | For all I know, one of YOU could be TummyTimeREAL! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, Kat, José left Doordash on the porch. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I just wanted to CHILL and have positive streams. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I wanted to share my AUTHENTIC passion for gaming. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But there's only one thing people want. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Instant... gratification. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | So if you think I won't make feet and moob goals, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | you are as dented as Jayde. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Someone get me in touch with Stuttering Craig. |
