| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, the Ipsos and Leger polls look good |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Nobody likes Freeland |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Rich ladies in Westmount find Pierre creepy |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | ... and Karina Gould secretly supports you |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Once Chrystia quits, Gould will endorse you in exchange for a senate seat |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Everyone has forgotten the photo of me in an Oilers jersey |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Holding a beer with my fingertips like a weirdo |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr Carney... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Freeland... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Freeland has photos of you with Ghylaine Maxwell |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And she has a video of you winking at Klaus Schwab |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Get me Katie Telford, Butts, and Rosie Barton |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Pierre is gonna crush me like an apple |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Klaus Schwab openly said he would "penetrate ze cabinet!" |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The Jon Stewart honeymoon is already wearing off |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They know I have been advising Trudeau for years |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | There is barely any safe liberal seat left except Hull |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And I don't want to live in Hull |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I want to live in Rockcliffe Park |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I didn't come back to Canada to live in frickin Hull |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Katie Telford made Justin quit so you could take his job |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I can't turn this shit show around! Ever heard of the Green Slush Fund? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr. Carney, the Desmarais family is counting on you |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't work for Desmarais, I work for Klaus Schwab |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I am a wooden technocrat |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | If I lose this race, my friends in Davos will mock me |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I won't be able to show my face at Harrod's |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Or during ski season in Chamonix |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I promised Brookfield's shareholders I would look after them |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | But I can't do that with 12 seats in the frickin House |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | At this point, there's no way the NDP will prop me up till October |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Jagmeet already has his full pension |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Why can't we just pick Melanie Joly |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Let Vassy Kapelos grill her instead of me |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Or Freeland. At this point, I don't care. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Pierre will win. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Even normies are supporting him now. They've realized we're all corrupt. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | That fatty Doug Ford looks more like a statesman than me. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The liberals gave a standing ovation to a literal nazi in parliament. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Why the hell would I want that stank on me? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ArriveScam, Roxham Road, the Kielburgers... |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, Justin. Let's go to Tofino. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Do you think Mary Simon would let me prorogue again? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Ride it out till October |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Try out the government jet |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I wonder if GC Strategies is hiring |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | People barely know who I am, but I have already failed. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I let down my best friend... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | The Tim Hortons Corporation |
