| 00:00 - 00:03 | Okay guys , it was a rough week out there |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We were ineffective |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | on offense and |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | were absolutely massacred on defense |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but it's not too late, we can come back. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Week 1 is always strange. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | How many points are projected for week 2? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We're projected to lose to The Wild Bunch |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | 90 points to 99.56 |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Worthy and Dobbins, you may leave. Everyone else stay. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I drafted you to win. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Not jerk each other off and shit the bed |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Cinicinati Bengals!! Superbowl Contenders! Can't even beat New England. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Burrow, your hair is ridiculous. You're a joke. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And the defense! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You should be in the CFL, let the Tigercats |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Walk all over you, at least no one will see!! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Allow 16 points, get 1 sack against a white QB!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | They have a really good O-line and |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It's ranked 32nd in the league. There are 32 teams! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Führer, sometimes they ran the ball. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | "sometimes they run and sometimes they pass". |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | YOU'RE HITTING THE WAIVER WIRE |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And Drake London |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | You said you've been having breakfast with |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Kirko Chainz. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK YOUR FUCKING WAY! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | 2 catches on 3 targets... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You have fucking bricks for fucking hands. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And on those two targets?! 15 yards!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Santos, you're cool. Perfect on every attempt |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | A 50 Yarder!! London would suck his own dick |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | for those kind of numbers. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Chuba, I knew you sucked |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I just thought maybe Gibbs and One Leg Dobbins would set an example |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | But no! You let fucking Miles Sanders take your touches. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You didn't even fight for them. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And Aiyuk, you were supposed to be the leader |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But you just had to be on a snap count. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, he just wanted his bag. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I have a gold jersey. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Part of the golden circle. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But it was so long ago |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I need to drop someone for waivers. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | DJ....Can you have another game like last year? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | The one where you got all the points? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I should just kill myself. |
