| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is the information we have about the incursion |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Advancing from the south |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | the enemy has come about 10 kilometers so far. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The force consists for now of infantry and a tank group |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | they've seized a gas metering station and destroyed several houses. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | As long as we hold Sudzha |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | it'll all be fine. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, actually |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sudzha |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sudzha is already under enemy occupation. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We started bombing it this morning. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave the room, except Shoigu, Gerasimov and Belousov. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fucking hell are you saying? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Three days to Kyiv, you told me! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Two-and-a-half years of fucking fuck-ups later |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and we're bombing our own fucking towns. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | If you retreat any faster |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | you'll be in fucking Vladivostok in a week! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And I'll be fucking house-hunting |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | in fucking Pyongyang! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But sir, all our reserve troops are in Ukraine! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | And which fucking genius ordered them into that meat-grinder? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, we were acting under your orders! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I didn't order you to de-Nazify fucking Kursk Oblast! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You're a bunch of fucking morons! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You couldn't even stop Prigozhin |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and he was on our fucking side! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I had to get that potato-sucking shit Lukashenko to save my ass! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We haven't seen this kind of shit since the times of Hitler! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | German armor racing across the fields of Kursk |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | only in the wrong fucking direction! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I should have you all taken out and shot, like Stalin would have done! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I just wanted to do some genocide in peace! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Steal and brainwash a few million Ukrainian kids. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Redraw the map of Europe! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And what happens? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Instead of stopping Ukraine getting closer to NATO and the EU |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | fucking Zelensky is visiting Brussels every other week! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and Sweden and Finland have joined NATO |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and our border with NATO |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | has got 1,000 miles longer! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. Korean's not that difficult! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | All the other dictators are laughing at me. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I look even more ridiculous than that fat shit Kim |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | in his enormous trousers. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The war is lost. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'll have to give Lukashenko my palace at Sochi at the very least. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Let's hope the Ukrainians bomb it when he's inside. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get Lukashenko on the phone. |
