| 00:00 - 00:03 | Britain is in Quarantine |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Boys II Men are in lockdown |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The lads are spread across Scotland |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Macca is in Aberdeen and Ewan and Thomas are in Edinburgh |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Harry aside, the rest of us made it to our family homes in Glasgow |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about Kai? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Isn't he cooped up alone? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | He... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | He's alone but he's in his new flat. It's nice. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He works from home sometimes anyway. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you're the kind of person who thinks pizza is overrated, please leave the room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Haven't you read the news? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This could last months! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | This is not short-term! He's not on call! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Kai is a sociable creature! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | He's a fucking dafty! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | He cannot manage without company! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Didn't you send him memes? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Don't you have Hayley's number? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, I WISH I had her number... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | This is no time for sister jokes! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Fuhrer, have you seen her instagram? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Enough! What about Harry? Isn't he in Somerset with his bird? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | PARTY TIME! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The rest of us are isolated.. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But fuck it, let's go to a party! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And what about Macca? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Sending optimistic neck-nominations into the void, hoping for a result |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Settling for a Deliveroo breakfast the next morning instead |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Then there's Duncan |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | He has an apparently infinite supply of penis pictures but lacks appropriate PPE |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And where is Ralph? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Stuck at work...separate from his family... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | ...keeping his distance... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | ...on WhatsApp. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Then there's Iain, trying to deny Catholics their car insurance from his parent's bedroom |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | They can't drive anywhere but fuck 'em. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And then there's James... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | he is undoubtedly glad, I'm sure... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | that he's not got a runny bottom in India! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | No, it's good news - he's not much of a spice guy |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least Cammy has a new job |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But to be honest, I don't know what he does. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | PR, maybe? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Then, Ewan and Thomas. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Which one do you think will break first? You've seen The Shining right? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | At least one thing is for sure... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | ...we're all wanking loads more now. |
