| 00:00 - 00:03 | We're one month out from the election, and it looks grim. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Trump is losing ground |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | in every battleground state. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Without support from more women and minorities |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | victory is absolutely impossible. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | At least we're safe downballot. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And he might still turn it around. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Trump... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Audio of Trump bragging about sexual assault leaked. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | People are calling for him to step down. |
| 00:53 - 00:54 | Listen up: |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | anyone that said we should've ditched Trump in July, leave now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What do they mean, step down! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The ballots have already been printed! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | People are already voting! We're doomed! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How could we have possibly forseen this? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What kind of monster have we nominated? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Whatever happened to dogwhistles!? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You don't literally SAY you hate women! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | This is a disaster! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Führer, Trump has been a disaster from the beginning. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Well what are we supposed to do now!?! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We could have everyone disavow Trump. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It's too late! We stuck with him through the Khans, |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And Machado! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | If we had any principles, we'd have |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | abandoned him months and months ago, |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But we wanted to fuck the poors so bad! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Now Ted Cruz has become a cuck for no reason! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | He was so likable before! Who will like him now! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Who will like ANY of us now? We all endorsed! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | All our politicians, for an entire generation, will have this albatross over them! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What went wrong, boys? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How did our voters fall for such a fucker? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Was it the years of disinformation? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The pandering to racists, maybe. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | But I hate the browns, too! They're scary! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Now Democrats have the first minority and the first woman! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We're going to look like huge assholes |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | in all the history books for years to come! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And in the inspirational movies, too! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. I won't tell anyone you voted for Johnson. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Gerrymandering is all we have. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But the Supreme Court or congress can remove it. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Then we have nothing. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The Republicans are done. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But gentlemen, if you think I'm going to regional domination now |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | for survivability and human decency, you're wrong. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'd rather blow my brains out. |
