| 00:00 - 00:03 | Right, Hogan finally has a permission slip |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | And we need to decide |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | On a course easy enough with no water |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | For our next round |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | I have peppered Batam hills and nearly broke 100 |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | No you didn’t Matt |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | But that’s enough for me and Ejac to win again |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Tom |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Ejac |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Ejac’s going back to the UK this summer |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | You’re going to need a new scramble partner |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone that I haven’t fucked, needs to leave this room right now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck is this |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | That fucking lanky cunt of a golfer |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | For the last 12 months I have carried his scrawny little legs |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Mandai, Indah Puri, Batam Hills even the sim |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | He doesn’t even fucking drink |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I could have got so many handjobs |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | from my caddies, but no |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They spend all their time looking for his golf balls instead of touching mine |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Tom he has started hitting the 6/7 club well |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Are you fucking kidding, its not even a proper club you cunt |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Tom, Matt made us all T-shirts |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You think I give a fuck about T shirts |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I DONT WANT SHANNON |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You’ve all changed |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I have had to start going |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | To Phuket on my own |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I had to pretend I had a bruised rib |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | to get some quality golf in |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And now I am being messaged |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | by the consulate of Myanamar, about repopulation |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They need Hogan’s swimmers not mine |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | the bloke lives in water, but i hit the fairways |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Getting Jo pregnant straight away, what a prick |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I have waited and waited |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | for him to finally get good |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And he’s still absolutely shit |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Not even the sim |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Can account for a slice that shit |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He out drives Matt once and gloats about it |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It’s okay Matt, you can still drive it furthest |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I simply have no choice |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I’m leaving you all and booking a one way flight |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | to bangkok |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I’ll play golf, but alone. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I thought we meant something to him |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But he’s just a whipped bellend.. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I’m texting the Irish girl again |
