| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer frontline intelligence is in |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The "Axe the Tax" |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | rally is here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And here. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Intelligence has determined Trudeau is on his way to Rideau Hall. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Why is Justin on his way there? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Please explain it to me like I am five. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer. Trudeau is resigning. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...and Mark Carney is succeeding him. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | There IS one more thing...perhaps, a delicate matter. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Mark Carney is cancelling the Carbon Tax. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone please leave except my campaign advisors. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT FUCKERY IS THIS!!!!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I SAID AXE THE TAX!! AXE THE TAX!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And he FUCKING AXED THE FUCKING TAX!! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | "Axe the tax." "Axe the tax." |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | That was OUR fucking plan to win the election. Checkmate!!! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How can I mock a former governor of the Bank of Canada and England?!! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I have no more fucks to give |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and no more fucking slogans!!!!!!!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We have "Canada First". |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck Canada First! Bannon told me that one!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | What about "Fix the Budget"? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You idiot, Carney is a banker he'll make streusel out of our plan! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He studied under John Fucking Kenneth Galbraith!! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I want Trudeau. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I need the fucking carbon tax back again! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | You fucking carbon for brain imbecile! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Danielle Smith wagered I would not win more seats than Trudeau! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Now I look like "Scheer for Brains" |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | or that "O'Toole without a Tool Box"! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | GO GET ME SOME FUCKING BRIQUETTES! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I want carbon. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I need carbon tax. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I want to win... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | and visit the White House. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | IT WAS ON MY BUCKET LIST!! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Someone go get me a Kentucky Bucket of Chicken |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and a vanilla Diet Coke. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | So, I CAN GET MY FUCKING BUCKET OF CARBON! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | AND TELL THEM NO TAXES BECAUSE I NEED THE CARBON MORE THAN THE TAXES! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Anaida, we just need a new slogan. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Does anyone have a new slogan that ties in 'carbon' and 'taxes'? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Does Carney have any tax sheltered funds? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | A Bermuda tax shelter maybe? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Brookfield funds? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | At least I don't have Brookfield... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ...in my portfolio. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | "Axe MY Tax"?? |
