| 00:00 - 00:03 | The rebels are advancing on multiple fronts. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They are consolidating their positions around Hama. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The Russians say they will not help us |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We are losing control of the Southern countryside |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And the SDF is crossing the Euphrates |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | General Suheil's counteroffensive... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | it will resolve this. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My President... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Suheil... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Suheil did not carry out an offensive |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Hama has been overrun |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who doesn't know the lyrics to "God, Syria, Bashar", leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That attack was an order! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He disobeyed a direct order! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I already have to deal with my allies fucking themselves in other wars |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | But this has become even worse than that. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | My army is falling apart in real time! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Does the SAA even exist anymore?! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They have failed in every battle of this offensive! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Retreating before the rebels even got to them! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We can count on the Russians to save us! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Putin already told me he doesn't give a shit! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | What about Hezbollah then? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Israel fucked them so hard they won't be useful for a decade! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They're finished! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Nobody is coming to save us |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and the SAA is a useless piece of shit! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | So many years to prep and nothing to show for it! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I spent years shoring up my defenses |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and they all fall apart in a single week! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I should have arrested all |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | of you useless advisors years ago like Putin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Now everything is falling apart. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I used to be the Lion of Damascus |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | All of Syria was mine! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Now look |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I'm ranting in a bunker as my cities fall and my armies crumble to dust! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | How the fuck did things go so wrong so fast? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Not even the Mossad could do this. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It was our own incompetence that led to this |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We fumbled harder than even Prigozhin! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, we'll get a luxury apartment in Moscow. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Not even Iran will help me |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Every backup plan has failed |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's so over |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Well and truly Bashover |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Putin said he will hook me up with a studio in Moscow |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I can't wait to see you all dead in the streets |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Useless fucks |
