| 00:00 - 00:03 | The vote is split in both Maine and Nebraska |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | he's won North Carolina |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and is poised to take Georgia. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and with approximately half the ballots counted |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | he has a larger-than-expected lead in Pennsylvania |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We have our reserve ballots |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | coming in from Philly. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner hit a giant pothole on I-95 |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | the reserve ballots never arrived |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Someone better go find me another fifty thousand votes. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That's why I preferred |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | to just hack into the machines |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | In Philly, the potholes are the size of artillery craters |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | could hide a family of gypsies in 'em |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Kamala's gonna be pissed |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | she'll turn us all over to the SS |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | lock us in the room with the giant speakers |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | blasting her babbling and cackling |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, hacking the machines isn't enough, you need the ballots |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | So scan and PRINT the ballots, don't drive them |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, as you are WELL aware |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't start again about the damn magenta ink |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's bullshit! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It makes no damn sense that |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | you have to have magenta ink |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | when all you want to do is print greyscale! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | the big printer companies have their boot on all our necks! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And when you buy an off-brand cartridge to try and save a buck |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | it's not recognized by the printer. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and then when you think it might actually print, it's stallin' |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | making print-like noises |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | humming, rattling, but before it can start |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | your print job is over. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | so right now |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | for the lack of a magenta cartridge, we're going to LOSE this election. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And the entire country will be plunged into fascism |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | least that's what I read in The Atlantic |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | but somehow they're never low on blue, or yellow |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We've got warehouses full of yellow and blue! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | it's okay Anna, they combine as black |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I remember the dot matrix days |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | there was... only black ink, and it sufficed |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | it was great |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | but folks wanted color. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Wanted to print photos at home, didn't want to wait 2 or 3 days |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | to get their precious snapshots |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | get her on the phone. |
