| 00:00 - 00:03 | Dr. Jasterboff |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | There are multiple cures for tinnitus incoming |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | drug trials are being held in Europe |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and in America |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | This looks like the end of tinnitus retraining therapy |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Nonsense, the cochlea cannot be healed |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | mammalian hair cells cannot be regenerated |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Dr. Jasterboff, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | they have |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They have discovered multiple techniques |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | to regenerate hair cells and restore hearing |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody except the ATA, BTA, and that stupid Facebook group, get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You were supposed to be promoting management strategies ONLY! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We're all going to be out of the job! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We might as well go ahead and fill out |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | employment applications for fucking McDonald's! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I've been the leader in tinnitus therapy for decades! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You useless pricks were supposed to be diverting attention |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | away from this sort of technology! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Dr. Jasterboff, the demand for a cure has been too large, and Stanford.. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Stanford University can suck my Jasterballs |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Dr. Jasterboff, people aren't falling for TRT anymore. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Go get on the forums and spread disinformation. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Tell people this won't happen for at least ten years. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Go get Captain Kirk on Good Morning America |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and tell him to promote management strategies! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The less the media talks about this the more time we will have |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | before we'll be asking people if they want french fries or apple slices |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | with their little brats fucking Happy Meals! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | We'll smell like french fries for all eternity. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We will never get good shifts either, the managers always play favorites with the schedule. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I have on ongoing bet with a colleague |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | that there will never be a cure for tinnitus. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | He has to buy me beer every time we meet and there isn't a cure. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I've tried my best |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | to convince people not to fund research for a cure! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Those nerds at Stanford University have ruined our careers! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I thought our biggest threat was Mute Button |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and that stupid thing didn't even work the first time it was released |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | people weren't even supposed to know curing hearing loss would cure tinnitus |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | maybe it won't, tinnitus is in the brain |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | My mother never loved me. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | She used to get drunk and beat me every morning. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I swore.... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | ..that I would make the world share in my misery |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I thought holding back a cure for tinnitus was the perfect plan. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Looks like my mother was right about me. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I will always be a failure. |
