| 00:00 - 00:03 | There seems to be a transient network issue |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | everything was working fine yesterday |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | then all of a sudden - bosh - we're losing http connections |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We haven't changed anything on our side |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but still, random request connections keep getting closed |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | this is a task for someone in a low-cost location |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we are trying to save money, remember |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | errr |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ummm |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | they are cheap but |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | it appears those guys don't know what they are doing |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Fungable monkeys one, four and eight, stay here |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You told me the cloud would save us money |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | be more reliable, you said |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | now we're in the hands of imbeciles |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | looking like total cretins |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | if the shareholders find out |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | we're toast! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I'm going to shove a grace issue so far up your arses |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | you'll have to raise a snow ticket to clean your teeth! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | I think that's a little harse... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | shut the fuck up you retarded dog turd |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | but transient network issues happen all the time |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | transient schmansient! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | get it sorted or I'll find someone who can... |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | we don't pay a small fortune to our cloud provider |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | for this shitty service! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | who's idea was it anyway? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | all your bonuses are cancelled!!! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and you are on overnight support for the next 3 years! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | migrate to the cloud, they said! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | what the fuck are we supposed to do now? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | we're now at the mercy of our friggin' cloud provider |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | and the genius who put us in this position |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | has walked-off down the garden path with his bonus |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | you've put this entire company at risk |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I'm cancelling the free fruit |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and no more working from home! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | from now on, I want a morning stand-up a 9am |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | we're going full Agile |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | stories. velocity, retrospectives - the lot! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | don't worry - you can be a scummaster |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | which of you clowns |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | wants to tell the stake holders |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | we have to roll the risk again |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | don't all volunteer at once! |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I see now, this policy of saving money |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | at every turn has ultimately destroyed |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | what was once a viable bussiness |
