| 00:00 - 00:03 | Fuhrer, we are here to give you an update on Covid-19 |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They have have locked down Malvern |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Prahran and South Yarra |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Next they are targeting those Aspen holidaying fuckers from Toorak |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but they keep slipping away to Sorrento and Portsea |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | They should just lock them up |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Copy the Chinese and just weld their doors shut |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | it's worse |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They've closed all the golf courses in Victoria |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We've had to cancel your Saturday round |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | There are too many people in this room, we need to keep a social distance |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What do you mean no golf!!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How the fuck can there be no golf?!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How the fuck do you get corona virus on a golf course? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Those inbeciles |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They've gone too far |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Without golf, what purpose is there in life? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | life will be meaningless |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Its the only time I can escape from you fuckers and get some peace |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer - Premier Andrews insisted |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Andrews is fucking ninny - who put that fuckwit in charge of golf? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer - he insisted it was non-essential activity |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Non-essential activity my arse... it's fucking vital |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Without golf what is there? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | If that fucking Andrews thinks |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | he's going to stop me playing golf |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I'm going to ring Jeff Kennett and bring back a real Victorian Premier |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Next he'll be issuing fines to 17yr old girls |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | just trying to get some hours up for their drivers licence |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This fucking nanny state Victoria |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It deserves a fucking ninny like Andrews |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Gladys is letting people play |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Maybe we should all move to NSW |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | pack the clubs and just head north |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | no that's dumb |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | let's just go and fucking play, somewhere must be open |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'd even put up with those smug inbreds from Royal Melbourne |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Peninsula must be letting people play |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | They need the money after blowing the budget |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | What a bunch of morons, how do you blow $120m |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, ladies can still play on Friday |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | It's a fucking disgrace |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | no golf for two weeks is sending me stir crazy |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It is wrong |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That prick Andrews |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I want you to organise a game this Sunday at Metropoiltan |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It's the best course in Melbourne - they will let us on |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I will play golf again |
