00:00 - 00:03 | Okay, thanks for coming to this meeting of all plow drivers |
00:04 - 00:05 | As you know, it snowed two days ago |
00:05 - 00:07 | I'm going to use this map of Spearfish |
00:08 - 00:12 | to assign all of your plow routes at random. |
00:12 - 00:15 | Okay, Jones will do the priority routes. |
00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, good. And Smith will plow Sandstone. |
00:19 - 00:21 | And Johnson, you plow downtown. |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mr. City Administrator... |
00:27 - 00:28 | All... |
00:31 - 00:33 | ...all the concrete things we poured downtown |
00:34 - 00:36 | make it impossible to plow effectivly. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Ok...so. Everyone who's never driven a plow before, go take your 15-minute break. |
01:13 - 01:15 | Do you think I don't already know |
01:15 - 01:17 | how hard it is to plow around those stupid things? |
01:18 - 01:23 | God, those things were so expensive and stupid, what were we thinking? |
01:25 - 01:28 | Hey, I know, let's make it even HARDER for us to plow! |
01:29 - 01:31 | The ladies who answer phones in public works are suicidal! |
01:31 - 01:34 | Okay, we are going to figure this out this time. |
01:34 - 01:37 | We are going to get the snow off our streets |
01:37 - 01:40 | so people can drive to work and school |
01:40 - 01:42 | Maybe we could buy a new plow and hire a driver... |
01:42 - 01:46 | You know we spent all our money on Jackson Boulevard! Use the plows we have. |
01:46 - 01:48 | One of the plows is in the shop. And we lost the keys for the other one. |
01:48 - 01:52 | Fuck, is this Belle Fourche?! |
01:53 - 01:54 | Seriously, I just came back from Sturgis. |
01:56 - 01:57 | They got as much snow as we did, |
01:57 - 02:00 | and their streets are DRY already. We haven't even started! |
02:00 - 02:03 | STURGIS seems to have it figured out. |
02:04 - 02:08 | How is it possible we have no institutional |
02:08 - 02:13 | knowledge about how to get snow cleared in Spearfish!? |
02:14 - 02:16 | How is it possible we've never been able to figure this out? |
02:17 - 02:21 | People have complained for 20 years. We had an entire ELECTION about it. |
02:27 - 02:29 | Okay, let's make a plan. |
02:30 - 02:34 | There MUST be a way to avoid leaving |
02:34 - 02:36 | massive piles of snow in the middle of every street. |
02:41 - 02:42 | Have you driven up Jackson? |
02:43 - 02:47 | It's all washboarded like you're driving up to fucking Iron Creek Lake in the summer! |
02:48 - 02:53 | How is that even possible?! No wonder people are mad at us. |
02:54 - 02:56 | Have you heard what awful things |
02:56 - 02:59 | people say to the ladies in Public Works? Nice people saying horrible things. |
03:00 - 03:02 | A pastor threatened to burn my house down. |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, honey, it's almost spring |
03:14 - 03:16 | Okay, here's what we're going to do: |
03:19 - 03:23 | We're just going to leave the snow this time. |
03:25 - 03:26 | When you find the keys to the remaining plow... |
03:31 - 03:33 | ...go take care of the mayor's street. And mine. |
03:40 - 03:46 | And try not to leave a big pile in front of my driveway like last time. |
03:46 - 03:49 | Then, let's call it a day. |
03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe it won't snow again. |