WEBVTT

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We're almost ready for the Glorious 12th

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the moors burned

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installed grouse butts here

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and gas guns here

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We've even laid access matting

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At least nothing can go wrong this year

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None of that Petition malarky

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Mein Fuhrer

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it's........

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... Mark Avery, Petition Banning Driven Grouse shooting again

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Fourty thousand have already signed

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If anyone in here has signed it, get out.

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WHAT IS IT WITH THAT DAMN MAN!

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AND THAT STUPID HARRY HARRIER!

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I've just filled the grouse with anti-biotics

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The moor is clear of predators

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It was almost perfect!

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What will I tell Marks and Spencer?

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I need someone to help me out!

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Where's Bonner and Botham when you need them?

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Mein Fuhrer, they lack any scientific credibility

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What about all the twitter trolls?

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Mein Fuhrer, they're just morons

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So basically I'm stuffed!!!

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It's all over.

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I've got my special guests arriving soon.

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The top of society and their dogs!

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What do I tell them?

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I've tried to do my best

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I've got Philip Merricks onside

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It's so simple

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Just get the harrier eggs and move them!

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Why are they worried about lead shot?

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Not even I'm mad enough to eat the grouse!

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I'm a vegetarian for goodness sake!

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And now all this worming treatment controversy

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I'm a conservationist protecting the moor

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I don't need science to prove I'm right

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They try and pin the flooding on me

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It's not my fault it rains

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The poor shouldn't live near rivers

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It's ok. Mark Avery will win!

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So what to do?

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I can't see a future in driven grouse shooting

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I love you guys

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but I'm going to have to let you go.

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I can't even go hunting in Malta thanks to Packham

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I'm going to have to take up fly fishing

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Go get my waders.