| 00:00 - 00:03 | My Lord, I'm afraid we have a problem in Turkey. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Our drill site is here... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | but the oil's all the way over here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We've got to start drilling in under a week... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | ...and we need to pay to move the equipment from over here. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So just do another placing... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and issue billions of new shares. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Lord... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...sadly... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ...sadly nobody believes a word we say any more... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...and the bank account's completely empty. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Trollhunter, Lucky Strike, Ocelot... you stay. The rest of you, go spam the bulletin boards. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was an order! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I order you to get the rig there! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I don't care that all the money's been spent on my salary! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Sack all the interns! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Sack the secretaries! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Find the money for my next fat wage cheque! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | That is the only thing that matters... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and the only thing that has ever mattered! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But my Lord, we've bled PIs bone dry by now. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Irrelevant! We know how incredibly stupid they are! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Lord, nobody's that stupid. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Idiots! I'm already down to only £300k a year! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And no bonus last year either! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | So search all our RNSes... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and copy n paste anything sounding remotely positive... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | on every bulletin board for the umpteenth time! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Include naff text pictures of rockets blasting off if you have to! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We've fooled PIs countless times before! We can do it again! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | For God's sakes, just remember what suckers they are! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They'll always fall for some fairytale if it's about jam tomorrow. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | So, mobilise every boiler room.... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Use all your multiple IDs... every last one of them... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and start posting nonsense! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | That Aussie shyster |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | He got out years ago with a cool couple of million and left me to run this charade! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | He's sat fat and happy while I still have to work for two days a month! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Hunt down Tymers and Heid. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Get them to claim there's still life in the Weald! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And to ramp our future in geothermal! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. McDonalds are hiring. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I can't believe I'm going to offer this |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It should be beyond the bounds of all possibility |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | However... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Desperate times call for desperate measures. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Rather than trousering all of my PI-funded £25k a month salary |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | which don't forget I fully deserve |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll spend 5% on shares. |
