| 00:00 - 00:03 | So far, Joe Biden |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | has pulled victories in Wisconsin and Michigan |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | But In Pennsylvania and Georgia |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Youre still ahead by a few thousand votes |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Now were just counting the mail in ballots coming from these districts |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | My supporters will increase my lead |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | When they count the mail in ballots |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | dad |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | You told |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You told your supporters Not to vote by mail |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | All the mail in ballots are for Biden |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody who didnt vote for me, leave the room except Eric, Jared, Don Jr |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Its not my fault |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You idiots did this to me, probably Obama too |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We spent millions and millions of dollars trying to suppress the vote |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Making them stand in long lines |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Purging minorities from voter rolls |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | But they came out to vote against me anyway |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Now, Biden will have more votes than me |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and probably Abraham Lincoln too |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But dad you still got more votes than Abraham Lincoln |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It doesnt matter, Im losing you Coke Head |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But dad, it wasnt coke, it was crystal meth |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Whatever it was, your eyes were glazed, and your speech was slurred |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | at the RNC convention |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | So was your batshit crazy girlfriend |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | with her batshit crazy speech |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | made us look like a laughing stalk |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | What do we do now? We have no more income streams |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | from the taxpayers, with $900 million in unsecured loans coming due |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | If I dont have the money to pay the Russian loan sharks, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and pay to keep the pee tape from going public, Ill get whacked by Putin |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I never wanted this jobs least |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I just wanted to market myself so I can rip off more money from people |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and get some respect |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But I get no respect |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Because Im just a phony who inherited his daddys money |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And squandered it away on casinos that couldnt even turn a profit |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and now, my family and I are facing |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Corruption charges from the State of New York |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And I cant even pardon myself from |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its ok Melania, daddy grabbed me by the pussy too |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I cant legally defend myself |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I guess Ill have to throw Don Jr. under the bus and blame everything on him |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Make him take the rap |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Hell probably get raped in prison |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | At least I still have all the cash that I stole from my campaign donors who were dumb enough to give it to me |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Get the plane ready |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Were going to Argentina |
