| 00:00 - 00:05 | So we get the latest GDP figures from the Commerce Department |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We were hopeful that they would be Ok |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | Not good, but OK. Maybe help Trump's polling. |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | But when we opened them... utter devastation |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | GDP had fallen by 32.9% |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | 32.9% |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | 32.9% |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | That's the biggest quarterly plunge in US history |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | 32.9% |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | That's worse than the Great Depression. How do we tell Trump? |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | Nobody wanted to volunteer. |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | So we all wrote our names on a small piece of paper |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | And then we put them in a hat |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | A "Make America Great Again" cap |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | A name was pulled out. |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | It was me. |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | I think |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | "Oh fuck, he's going to go mental" |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | I decide to get it over with straight away and walk to the oval office |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | And I say "Mr. President, we've received the figures from the Commerce Department" |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | He looked so excited |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | Somehow he thought it was going to be good news. |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | So I tell him very seriously "I'm afraid it's not good, sir" |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | "GDP from April to June has plunged 32.9%" |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | That's very bad. |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | You should have seen his face. |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | He turned bright red. |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | He looked so defeated. |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | And he said "What the hell am I supposed to do?" |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | That's it. |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | I'm fucked. |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | Completely fucked. |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | But then he comes up with a bright idea |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | "I know how I can divert attention from this news" |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | So, within 15 minutes, he's come up with a plan. He takes out his phone and opens Twitter. |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | He starts typing |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | He starts typing |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | With his tiny, cheeto covered fingers |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | He suggests postponing the 2020 election |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | He says mail-in voting will lead to the most fraudulent election in US history |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Is that true? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | No, of course not. The president, himself, has voted by mail many times. |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | But he's trying to convince people that absentee and mail-in voting is different. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | It's the same thing. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | 32.9% |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | He thinks people will fall for this diversion. |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | He thinks we're all as dumb as he is. |
