| 00:00 - 00:03 | They are marching up Pennsylvania Avenue. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They really don't like you. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Their signs are funny though. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | This is probably a bad time to tell you, but your poll numbers are tanking. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | You are trailing Biden in the swing states that you won in 2016. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Don't worry. People say this economy is YUGE! |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We campaign on how well the stock market is doing. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr. President... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The jobs report... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The jobs report is not good...14.7% unemployment. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It's a Depression. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out but Kushner, Pence, Conway, and Miller. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You said this would be easy! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | ...and my ignorant racist base would keep me in power! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I never liked those rednecks, but at least they cheered for me and voted for me! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I even pretended to like their religion! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I put a rapist on the Supreme Court! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I gave all the billionaires tax cuts! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Now, because of this pandemic hoax |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I can't even sneak out to rawdog pornstars and teenagers! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, we can only whack so many pimps for you. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | At least Epstein knew how to party, unlike you pussies! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr. President, we are losing focus here. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Focus on this dickhead, I'm going golfing! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Zuckerburg covers for me. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | He's does his part. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But now Twitter is fact-checking me. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Pelosi wears my balls around her neck. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | That woman from Michigan makes me look like an impotent cuck. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Melania has "had a headache" since Stormy went public. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Even Ivanka is spurning my advances |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | for the first time since she was in high school! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Don't look at me like that Kushner. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You knew she was mine from the beginning. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Dude, you even creep Stephen Miller out. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Yes, I fucked up on Corona. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | But Obama wore that tan suit once! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We all knew I was going to be a shitshow. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Even Putin is all, "Dude, slow down... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | ...I didn't say you had to clusterfuck America THIS badly.... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ...I wanted it weakened, not obliterated." |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok Tiffany. I'm sure daddy loves you too. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe Fox News can help. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We'll blame this all on black people. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Focus on broken windows. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Tell the governors to start shooting people. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Leave me now. I have to poop... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ...and send some tweets. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | So, you know, both. |
