| 00:00 - 00:03 | Your January 14th update, Mein Fuehrer. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Coach Matt Rhule reports that.. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Mike Phair will coach the D-Line |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and Chase Blackburn will coach special teams. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Better still, Joe Brady has agreed to be our offensive coordinator. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Good, with Cam coming back, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | our offense and defense are in good shape. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuehrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the defense... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Luke Kuechly has retired after 8 seasons. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | his injuries were too much to bear. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone thinking about a full rebuild, leave the room now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HE'S 28 YEARS OLD!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | HE HAS SO MANY YEARS OF INCREDIBLE ABILITY LEFT! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | don't worry, we still have Colin Jones. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | and Wes Horton. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | THIS TEAM IS GOING TO SHIT! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | HE'S LEAVING BECAUSE HE HATES THE NEW COACHES |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | AND THIS SHITBOX OF AN OWNERSHIP |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | David Tepper is giving Rhule all the resources he'd ever want |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | YOU CAN'T BUY A SUPER BOWL! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuehrer, Rhule is very respected in NFL circles... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | NFL CIRCLES CAN'T EVEN DEFINE WHAT A CATCH IS. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THE SAINTS ARE IN NFL CIRCLES! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I BET IF DRAWING CIRLCES WERE IN THE RULEBOOK |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | THE SAINTS WOULD CHALLENGE THE AMOUNT OF SIDES IT SHOULD CONTAIN!! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | THEY'RE GARBAGE. THEIR COACH IS GARBAGE. THANK GOD THE VIKINGS EXIST! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | EVERY YEAR THEY COME IN AND DO SOMETHING WE CAN'T DO |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | BEAT THE SAINTS WITH EVERYONE WANTING US TO DO IT. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | WHY WON'T DREW BREES JUST FUCKING RETIRE?! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | IF MY THIRD REICH LASTED A THOUSAND YEARS IT WOULD STILL BE SHORTER THAN HIS TIME AS A QUARTERBACK! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I'm sorry for losing my cool. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Luke Kuechly is an amazing player... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and an even better person. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I am just so pissed... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | THAT WE COULDNT WIN HIM A FUCKING SUPER BOWL! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Von Miller ran through us like a Sherman division in Africa, |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Mike Remmers put up the resistance of an Italian soldier, |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Peyton Manning couldn't even throw the ball! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Papa John's could deliver a better pass than him! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | That garlic butter sauce is really good. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | He's doing this for his health. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It's the smart thing to do. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | He'll walk away.. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | .. without anyone having to help him off. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | At least we have the 7th pick in the draft, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | we can take a strong durable player with a pick that high. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get me the highlights on Tua Tagovailoa. |
