| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've nearly completely captured the left |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Preferred pronouns are now hip |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Where once they were merely |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | an awkward politiness reserved for transexuals |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | they are now considered mandatory |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It's Stockholm Syndrome. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Wokesters are using them on all their twitter bios |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They've.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They've terfed Samoa |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It was Gavin. They just aren't having it. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Every man not secretly wearing something pink and frilly from Victoria's Secrets leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How could this be happening? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The competitors were pacifican women of colour |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | subject to a process of colonisation for over 200 years. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Why are they not checking their goddam privilege? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Yes sure Gav, whoops I mean Laurel |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Sure Laurel is white and the son of a millionaire, |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Sure his natural testerone levels through puberty |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | fueled non-reversible male-specific muscle mass |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer in Samoa they know who is female |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Silence! he's a lady! You hear me? A Lady! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Have you seen him though? Hes fucking huge! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | If I dont hear you mindlessly saying "stunning and brave" |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I'll have your body dumped at the bottom of the Spree. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It's all his fault. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The Prime minister of Samoa, Dr Malielegaoi |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | If he had kept his mouth shout then the world would |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | still be swallowing our talking points about "indigenous genders" |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I mean, only god knows how people believed that guff for so long anyway. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And Daniel Leo! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It's like all of Samoa has seen through our ploy! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | All I wanted...I just wanted |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | a white man to win in a sport against those brown ladies. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And I wanted to see the absolute circus |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | of seeing white lefty hipsters |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | claiming to be oh-so anti-colonial, I wanted to see them |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | supporting the huge white dude, I mean lady win against the women. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But I don't get to enjoy the win. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You fools failed to ship enough bearded wokebros into Samoa! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | WHERE WERE THE BEARDS??? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry. We still have Yaniv. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | There's only one way to move forward. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We'll have to ship in a division of our finest crack post-structuralists. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Education is the answer |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We'll have to show them any resistance |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | to our white dudes taking medals from brown women |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | is antifeminist colonialism. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | That'll show them. |
