MyPillow (bunker scene)
304 views9/9/2023
Late in World War Two, Adolph Hitler receives bad news about pillows.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Our forces are short on pillows. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Along this salient |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Our soldiers are using their helmets for pillows. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Many report poor sleep and headaches |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Call Mike, order more. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Tell him it's a rush order. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The pillows ... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The pillows are very, very lumpy. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And Mike Lindell is broke. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Whoever believes that Biden won the election, leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Lindell is a fool! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He has betrayed us! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How could he be broke? We paid millions for those pillows! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I'll bet he has Jew blood in his veins! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | First he loses his wife and his house |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | after spending his money on crack cocaine. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And now this? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | You can be sure Trump doesn't take this shit! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Führer, one of Trump's boot-licking lawyers called to say— |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck Trump! Let him stuff his own pillows! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Führer, Lindell says the FBI— |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The FBI? He's lucky the Gestapo hasn't confiscated his cell phone! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He's delusional! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Mike Lindell makes George Santos look sane! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | He should have named his company MyStupid! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | He's got pillow stuffing for brains! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We should have paid him in crack cocaine! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | If we had paid his workers in crack cocaine |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | they would have worked overtime! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Kept the lights on at MyPillow! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Stuffed those damned pillows like their— |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | — like their lives depended on it. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Good pillows. The best. Never a lump. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck it. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Tell Mike that I'm ratting him out to Jack Smith! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And to Fani Willis. Let the American vulture lawyers |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | eat his balls for dinner! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And when they're done eating his balls |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | they will lock him up in a cell with no pillow! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, Mike will have a negro cellmate named Bubba! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Pillows used to be soft. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Soft like feathers. Like angel dandruff. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Never a lump. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | And now this. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | All because some drug-addled American entrepreneur |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | became useful to Donald Trump. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | What a farce. |