| 00:00 - 00:03 | There has been an urgent message come in. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Our plan to create a Lakers bandwagon fanbase in Berlin |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | is in jeopardy |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | With Kobe hurt, it could really make it difficult to make the playoffs |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Data shows that bandwagon fans could actually jump on the Clippers wagon |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Thank goodness we have Dwight Howard |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | There's still a chance |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer.......... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Dwight....... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Dwight Howard defected from LA to join the Rockets |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We saw it on ESPN |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All of you that are bandwagon Lakers fans are excused... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | DAMN YOU Daryl Morey! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | WE HAVE ON ONE LEFT TO PROTECT THE LANE! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | First it's Andrew Bynum and now Superman! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Kobe has one good leg |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | AND GASOL IS A YETI! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I CAN'T EVEN NAME YOU WHO'S LEFT! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | At this rate we'll have to beg Luke Walton to come back! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I CAN'T EVEN BEAR TO SAY THAT NAME! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, Kupchak has landed Chris Kaman |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | HE'S A CAVEMAN!! YOU HEAR ME! A CAVEMAN! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir....we still have Jack Nicholson sitting courtside |
| 01:49 - 01:52 | HE HASN'T MADE A RELEVANT MOVIE IN YEARS! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THIS WILL NEVER WORK! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We no longer have Phil Jackson |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | It's Mike 'freakin' D'Antoni for Pete's sake |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | WHAT HAS HIS SYSTEM EVER ACCOMPLISHED! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Trying to run and gun on bad limbs.. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | WE USED TO DRAW ALL THE STARS AND LOOK DOWN OUR NOSES AT EVERYONE ELSE! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | While we sip our lattes..... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | WE WOULDN'T HAVE HALF THE FANS IF NOT FOR HOLLYWOOD! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | At least we still have Nash |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I hope he still has game. His hair may be a JOKE |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But he can still ball |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But that's IT |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | EVEN EARL CLARK IS GONE! CAN WE NOT KEEP ANY YOUNG TALENT?! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'm gonna go Bobby Knight on somebody if we don't get it together |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We might as well have YOU losers suit up |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You might have as good of a chance! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We couldn't hold the Rockets jocks! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. Kobe has a restraining order |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | When I was a schoolboy... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | A bully....took my lunch money and made me eat... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | A booger |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | ..gave me.....such a wedgie... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I walked bow-legged like an Ewok for a whole week |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | then he hung me from the flagpole.. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I feel kinda like THAT....... |
