| 00:00 - 00:04 | Lads, as you all know, GW1 in FPL is almost over. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Our fantasy football team |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | isn't looking too great. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Despite weeks of careful planning and over 50 "Rate my Team" posts on r/FantasyPL |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We have struggled to score any points beyond a dubious Rooney assist. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Not to worry, the Arsenal boys won't let us down. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They'll bring us back from this. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mate |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The Arsen... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Arsenal game is over, they shit the bed against West Ham. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | To make it worse, Walcott didn't start. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Any cunts with Ayew, Barkley, Mahrez in their team, leave. Now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That's just typical fucking FPL! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | All that planning for sweet fuck all! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | "Arsenal will win the league this year", they said. "Walcott is on fire, he's going to fill his boots" they told me. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Because of those dickheads we're not even in the Top 1 million players |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I swear on me mum.. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | This is the last time I double-up on Arsenal. The LAST |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Thibaut Courtois? What the FUCK was that lanky prick doing? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Minus points? Oh, cheers Thibaut! Nice one! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But we all thought Walcott would start. In the Community Shield, Wenger... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | A glorified friendly! He never fucking starts, you mug! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | He was tearing it up in the Emirates Cup in pre-season. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Basing our team selections on some Mickey Mouse cup games. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Did you forget about Giroud?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Just once |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I'd like to do well in the first gameweek. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But every year it's the same fucking story isn't it, lads? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Every year I ask you to Rate My Team |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and you tell me to "wait and see" how the new signings adapt to the Premier League! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I had André Ayew and Cedric Soares in my fucking team. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Instead I listened to you and your stupid fucking advice. You told me to put the armband on WALCOTT. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Don't even get me started on Chelsea. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Those jokers needed a fluke free-kick and a deflection just to draw at home to Swansea. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I'd have bet my left bollock on Chelsea winning that. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Watch now... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Sergio Aguero will start against West Brom and get a hat-trick. You just fucking watch. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | All the casuals are laughing at us, lads. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Our season has gone to shit already. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | My knee is jerking so hard to get rid of Walcott. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I doubt we even have a plan to bring Aguero in?! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, they'll still win the league. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We should never have asked r/FantasyPL to rate our team. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | There's only one way we can save our season from being a total disaster: |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Wildcard. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Wildcard...for GW2 |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I want you to bring in Ayew, Darmian, Barkley, Mahrez and Phil Jagielka. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Then we'll see who's laughing. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I fucking hate FPL. |
