| 00:00 - 00:03 | All pilots will be required to order new uniforms at the same time. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They will be ordered from the same company |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | we already use. We will be set for June. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The pilots will have the option of ordering online, and |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | trying them on at the training center. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So what you are saying, is |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | that everything will be on time and correct. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Unfortunately, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | well... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Only if you are happy with skinny jeans, clown ties, |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and oversized epaulets. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who likes their skinny jeans, clown ties, or has an app in at FedEx leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is bullshit! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | My tie was three inches too short! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | My epaulets make me look like a linebacker! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The hipsters and emos dont even wear pants this tight. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And orders aren't even being delivered! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The American pilot uniforms give them rashes! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | What do you think this is, Virgin America? Jet Blue? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | My belt sucks! The shirt sucks! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You can have your pants tailored to fit |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | By some emo teenager with guages in her ears? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Not all Emos wear guages |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Ah bullshit! What's next, beards and suspenders? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | My shirt is made of tissue! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You non-flying shitbags |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | don't have to do a four day |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | in pants so tight |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | that my junk gets shoved up my chest cavity |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | How do you expect me to concentrate on my forty page |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Performance Weight and Balance RBF, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | or figure out how the fuck to get to Costa Rica! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I ordered fifty pairs of epaulets |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | and I'm going to send them back one at a time. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | That will show those bastards! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Goddamnit! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Im still fatigued from the fatigue DL and my ski jacket looks stupid! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I can't believe I fell for that piece of shit! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I donated it to a homeless guy. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And he told me it made him look fat! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | What idiot came up with this shitty idea anyway? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. Pilots will still come down. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm going to buy my pants from Dillards. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe they have a nice flag tie. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | A zipper one. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Because I'm Phoenix based. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But seriously, just because I'm a Colonel, it doesn't mean I'm a Kernel. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I have flown with a few Navy guys. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Man those civies are good. |
