| 00:00 - 00:05 | So, the End Times happened, and they blew up Warhammer Fantasy. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The prospect of 9th was exciting, but scary. |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | People were speculating. "What's it going to be like?" |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | "Will they screw us? Will it be good?" |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | Then we saw the new rules... |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | They're terrible! |
| 00:26 - 00:28 | Four pages! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Did you see the "heroic" models? |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | They're fucking BLOOD ANGELS! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Space marines! |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | GW are like "Oh this is about giving the hobby back to the players." |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | "Here you go, play this - it's free." |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | Oh, so it's good 'cos it's free? |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | Ebola... |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | Ebola is free! |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | And I don't want that shit anywhere near me! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | Just like Rage of Shitmar! |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Terrible... |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | They've dropped the ball here. |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | Imaginary horses... |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | They're almost like "They'll buy any old shit we peddle them!" |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | I've an idea!" |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | "Let's get a child to write our fucking rules!" |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | No - let's be serious. |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | I decided to give it a try. |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | I can't slate it without giving it a fair crack, right? |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | It's a GW game after all... |
| 01:54 - 01:56 |
and I like GW games... |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | Fantasy has 30 years of pedigree... |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | So we set up, put down some scenery and roll on the scenery table... |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Sinister fences! |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Who... |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | Who the fuck thought that up? |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | There's no points... |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | I just empty my entire case on the table and am like "Bitch, theres my army!" |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | My opponent doesn't care though - he rushes into the shop, splashes some cash and comes back with ten Bloodthirsters! |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | He can do that? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Yes! |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | This game is totally pay to win! |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | Like some bullshit iPhone app... |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | I'm literally crying here. |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | So how did the game actually play? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Have you ever seen a little kid playing with toy cars where he just crashes them into one another? |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | That's what this shit is like - just ramming two blobs of plastic into each other. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Then seeing who dies of boredom first. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Would you like a game with me? |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Don't worry - I'll bring along a Screaming Bell and Fateweaver. |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Then the game will be over on turn one and you won't have to play! |
