Hitler Rants about Destiny: The Taken King

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1,075 views6/25/2015
Hitler ranting about the Destiny expansion fiasco...

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00:00 - 00:03We have breaking news from E3.
00:04 - 00:05Destiny's next expansion, The Taken King
00:05 - 00:07has been officially announced.
00:08 - 00:12It promises new content, new subclasses, and a raid.
00:12 - 00:15New emotes, shaders, and class items are included in the Collectors Edition.
00:17 - 00:19I have a spare $20 laying around.
00:19 - 00:21Hell, I'd drop $40 for the Collectors Edition.
00:24 - 00:26My Führer
00:27 - 00:28The Collectors Edition...
00:31 - 00:33The Collectors Edition is $80 with all previous content included.
00:34 - 00:36The expansion alone costs $40.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone leave the room except: DeeJ, Luke, Josh, and Lars.
01:13 - 01:15The Fuck is this Shit?!?
01:15 - 01:17I have to pay $80 on top of everything I've already payed?
01:18 - 01:23I've been playing this God forsaken game since Alpha!
01:25 - 01:28*I* discovered the fucking loot cave.
01:29 - 01:31My legendary engrams turned to blue trash.
01:31 - 01:34But now you're telling me to buy a broken game twice?
01:34 - 01:37If I want to have the same new dance move
01:37 - 01:40as a noob, kinderguardian thats never stepped foot in VoG?
01:40 - 01:42But wouldn't you like to throw your money at Bungie?
01:42 - 01:46Throw money at them? I'd rather throw a bag of dicks at them!
01:46 - 01:48The notion of spending this money is making you anxious, I can see it.
01:48 - 01:52The only thing you'll see is my God Damned Gjallarhorn,
01:53 - 01:54as I SKULLFUCK you with it!
01:56 - 01:57I fooled myself into thinking the Dark Below was worth it.
01:57 - 02:00Running through old content, backwards.
02:00 - 02:03Beating a raid so lame, it could be completed solo.
02:04 - 02:08Weapons were worse than lower damage Vault gear.
02:08 - 02:13When they finally bestowed upon us a "hard" mode raid?
02:14 - 02:16It was only artificially hard,
02:17 - 02:21due to poor design and more bugs than the Temple of Doom.
02:27 - 02:29But then came the House of Wolves.
02:30 - 02:34They finally stopped punishing you for getting new gear.
02:34 - 02:36You didn't lose levels because you found new armor.
02:41 - 02:42Have you tried PoE?
02:43 - 02:47A potential time sink, with no checkpoints, and rewards that aren't worth the effort.
02:48 - 02:53They put the best PvE weapons in a PvP event of all places.
02:54 - 02:56Did you wish more people used Thorn?
02:56 - 02:59Like getting one-shot by a noob with a final round sniper?
03:00 - 03:02Perhaps you prefer blinking shotgun scrubs?
03:04 - 03:07I know, I'll never see the Lighthouse either.
03:14 - 03:16There aren't enough Passage Coins in the Reef
03:19 - 03:23to carry my sorry ass through Trials.
03:25 - 03:26Maybe Iron Banner?
03:31 - 03:33And now they expect me to give them more money?
03:40 - 03:46Just so I can play as Hawkeye, Thor, or the Emperor from Star Wars?
03:46 - 03:49You'd think Disney bought them too.
03:53 - 03:56I need a Red Bull...