| 00:00 - 00:03 | These Hesperians should be an easy victory. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The introduction of our superior forces will obliterate those religious radicals. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We will start the invasion on their west side. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They'll be too busy stoning people to notice our troops on their coast. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But the problem is Exaequatio is threatening to attack us if we invade their ally. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Okay. They're peaceniks, let's invade Hesperia anyway. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We've got Nickel and all. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Um... Vasily, sir? |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The Petrokovians.... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Petrokovia said they will enter the war if Hesperia is attacked. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We've done the calculations. We're all doomed... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who believes we can win the war... leave... now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell do you mean the Petrokovians!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Those communists think they control the planet! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I don't have time for them! They live on Hoth for god sake! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Can't Nickel, ACOC or Inprobus do something? They are our allies! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | No! Of course not! They're too busy killing Ziett's children! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Or running around spraying people with agent orange! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | What about Armasimplex? They'll help us. They like us a lot! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Are they seriously the only ones who like us!? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Armasimplex likes everyone. Just look at the RMB! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | NO! Don't give me that crap! I won't stand it! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But sir, I get hundreds of likes from them in my notification box every day! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Are you serious? I'm not the only one? They're Traitors! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Fine! We'll turn to Chernarus then! They can help us! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | All they ever want is vodka. It will be easy to turn them to our side! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But hell! Our economy is shot! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | We can't afford to make vodka! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | What do I have to do to get the economy rolling? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Sell myself to the highest bidder!? I think not! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This is all over Hesperia! Some random island that have long beards! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I mean really! Where do they come from? The fifth century?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Have they even heard of shaving cream? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Or do they stone them for having that too? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | All I want to do is take over the world. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I mean seriously! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Do those democratic powers have to really be funny duds? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Those Petrokovians! Ha! Those Exaequations! Those Sjealands! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Those Sjealand are as backwards as Hesperians. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Did you see their king? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He seriously wears a crown and a cape! A crown! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its okay, we can have some vodka when this is over. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I mean... who does that anymore? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Wear a cape and crown that is. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Is he batman? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe superman. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And I can't even find a tailor who will make me a nice hat. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Screw it. We'll invade Hesperia. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I need a hat. |
