| 00:00 - 00:03 | Meine Fuhrer, we have heard talk that Michael Dunlop is looking to retake the island |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We believe he has already smuggled in a replacement bike from England on the ferry in the back of a Ford Transit |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Apparently his Yamaha R1 sprang an oil leak which ran for miles into the centre of Douglas. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Our spies in the pits, disguised as three pundits on ITV4, found out that Herr Dunlop was going to spring a surprise and ditch the R1 |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We understand the replacement bike has been smuggled in under cover of darkness and is now here |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So Herr Dunlop thinks he can spring a surprise to prevent Guy Martin winning his first TT |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He betrayed us by ditching our beloved BMW |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Meine fuhrer, em he's already been out on the new bike |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | and did ..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | and did a 128mph lap |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | on a......on a BMW |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I don't believe it. All those who've bought Milwaukee T-shirts please leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You bunch of arseholes - I told you I wanted Martin to win his first TT before he retires. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I told Hector to put his house on Martin winning a TT |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And now this Maverick jumps ship from the dodgy R1 and threatens to blow my man off the Island |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I even told Martin to get rid of those stupid sideburns to make him look faster |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I had hoped that Martin would at last get that TT win with Dunlop nowhere to be seen |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | ...and now you idiots have allowed Dunlop to get his hands on the one machine capable of beating my man Martin |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Get out of my sight |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | You aren't worthy of wearing the new Tyco BMW polo shirts I bought you |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | but Meine Fuhrer I've just had mine taken in |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Go buy yourself a fecking Milwaukee Yamaha Shirt for all I care |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | but they can't give them away now Mein Fuhrer |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Do you think I care you bloody idiot |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I told you to hide every spare BMW in the country |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I told you to make sure Dunlop stuck with the R1 |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | All I wanted was for Martin to win |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | ..and now you've fecked it all up |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | What am I going to tell Hector? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | What am I going to tell Philip? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | This has to go down as one of the most embarrassing episodes since the final of Britains Got Talent |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Once again Guys going to be an also ran |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Do you understand what this means? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I've put all my life savings on mutton chops Martin to win his first TT |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and now its up in smoke like Dunlops R1 |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | For this last 5 years I've been plotting Dunlops downfall |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | and then the fecking Yamaha springs a leak and soaks the bloody island |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I thought I could rely on the Japanese to do something right |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | ...but they fecked up big time |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'm going to have to cancel my subscription to Road Racing Ireland now |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ..the thought of seeing that Irish header on the front and centre pages is too much to bare |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its all right - he hasn't mentioned Jamie Hamilton yet |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Whats the world coming to when the Japanese can't build a bike that'll run a few miles before springing a leak |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | ..I'm finished with Hector and Philip now - they'll never speak to me again |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I put a word in for them to help get the BMW deal |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I promised them Guy would win a TT |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | ...and now its gone tits up |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | what a fool I've been |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I should have known Dunlop would never lie down |
