| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Lust Experience will begin with an ARG |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | involving Noah Sinclair and his seminar |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We'll do a road show in the countryside... |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Launch The Lust Experience in the suburbs |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | With the finale in Berlin at Castle Count Chocula! |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | LUST won't need a finale. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The Tension Experience had no finale. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Actually, sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Special Emails were sent out and... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | There was a soul-crushing finale... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Everyone died and Sabrina escaped. You missed it. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who went to this "finale", get the fuck out of my sight. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the FUCK do you mean, "finale"? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Nobody told me about any finale! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Why no special dispensation for those of us there from the start? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | With that fucking cat-bear or whatever it was? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I had my Periscope ping on, my Twitter ping on... |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | My Emails were supposed to alert me to everything! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I was completely invested in those people! They were like family to me! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And NOW I hear there was a finale for the "special people"? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Some people are more special than others. Darren and Clint... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | FUCK DARREN AND CLINT! They are manipulative dirtbags! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Be that as it may, they thought the fans deserved closure. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Are they batshit moondog crazy? I was their BIGGEST fan. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | More than Neil Patrick Harris ever was! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | For months I followed the odyssey of that young and pretty |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Swiss actress. Even though her country is neutral, I CARED about her. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | She wormed her way into my tiny cold heart and made me FEEL again. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I had it all planned out. I would rescue her from that house of terror.... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I would dump Eva, and Sabrina and I would start our own theater company.... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And only do plays...in their original Swiss-German text! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And finally, I could compete with those boring Chekov plays put on by Stalin. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And all this, after my moment in the Red Room... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Where those fucks got me to reveal my deepest, darkest secret. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And my wet, salty tears turned that sand...to...mud. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And now you tell me they're all dead? Do you know how much... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I admired that guy Simon. He would've made a great Nazi. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'll never forget when Sadie asked me to save her. Or was it Sam? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Shannon? Stephanie? Sophie? They did that on purpose. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | So I don't have a hip "podcast" or write for The Verge or have pretty red hair |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But that's no excuse to leave me out of the loop on this "finale"! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's alright. I missed it, too. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe it's for the best that they're dead. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I liked OSDM's tactics. They had to come out on top. It was inevitable. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Plus that means Samson is still alive. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I wonder who ended up with Sabrina's red dress? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | At least I have LUST to look forward to. Maybe they'll give me a nude scene... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | With some doomed hottie in a bathtub filled with blood. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least they aren't sending out Emails for "chosen ones". |
