| 00:01 - 00:08 | Welcome Comrades and Friends but not The Krankies cos we look just like them |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | We in North Korea take a real interest in World Affairs |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | Our illustrious leader Kim Jong-Un |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | Has decreed that Scottish Labour's Leader |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | The Mighty Irn Bru Drinking Big Jim Smurfy |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | Has been given the order of the Mighty Wanker |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | For his illustrious work in aiding the Tory party to the greatest victory |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | over the common people in the Scottish Referendum of 2014 |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | Thus proving that he is a most untrustworthy man who has been defiled by |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | egg tossing opponents!! |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | Though all this Big Jim never toppled from his crates |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | We invite him and the rest of the Labour party to their new home in North Korea |
