| 00:00 - 00:03 | We took the battle down to the final game |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Just one point away |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | but we were relegated from division one |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | I think a change in personnel is needed |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We should buy Messi and Suarez |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It's fine we can sell my investments |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | To get the coins we need |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My leader |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | EA have... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | EA have implemented price bands |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Their value has halved and they won't sell |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who didn't sell their squads before the price band crash, leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Why did you not fucking tell me?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I can't believe this EA bullshit |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You worms sold your squad before the crash |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I'll take your account |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I'll take everyone's fucking account |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I might have stayed in division one |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Had you told me about this earlier |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Instead I go down to division 2 poor as a peasant |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My leader your formation was never going to work in div 1 |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You shut up with your five at the fucking back |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My leader through balls to Ibarbo are unmatched |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You don't even mention his name in my presence again, you sweaty cunt |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | All of you, pacewhores |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | My players may be slow but they're legends |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Pirlo, Totti, Buffon |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And even Luca Toni because of his time at Bayern Munich |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Now finally I decide to join the sweat race and buy a pace team |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I can't even sell my investments for half of what I fucking bought them for |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I swear EA are taunting me with this bullshit now |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I caved and bought a pack the other day and I swear the manager was Stalin |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | All I wanted one division 1 title |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | To win just a single title for myself |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Champions of Europe and the world |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Now I sit in division 2 |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And according to corporal dickhead my formation fucking sucks |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Not to mention I'll never buy Messi and Suarez now |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I might as well cash out while I can |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | This is the last time that I ever play ultimate team |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I'm gonna take the disc, snap it and go buy PES |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, he loves career mode too much |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | My Bayern career is too good to sell now |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I won't take anyone's accounts to make up my losses |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Except corporal dickhead over there |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Password and Secret Answer please |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Could you imagine having Messi lift the Div 1 title? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | That could've been me, no relegation |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Instead Div 2 awaits |
