We Are Kaput !
2,654 views3/14/2020
This is a video clip of a typical Monday morning operations meeting for most shale oil companies drilling horizontal wells in America's shale oil basins right now. Things are not good, regardless of what language you speak.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Good morning, I have asked Engineering to join us today |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | to discuss our program |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | in the Bakken shale play |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | where we have drilled 393 wells, only 26 have paid out costs... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and where we now have just 16 locations left to drill in our core area. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, well, we need more money... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we can fix this, we just need more money. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Boss... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the bank... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | the bank has revoked our revolving line of credit... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | we are now kaput. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | OK, I want all reservoir engineers who promised me 1.5 million BOE EUR's to leave the room, now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | SHIT ! I NEED MORE MONEY |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I HAVE TO HAVE MORE MONEY ! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | WHERE ARE ALL THE PUD's I WAS PROMISED...THOSE IMBECILE ENGINEERS IN THE HALL HAVE |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | FAILED, THEY HAVE FAILED US ALL |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I WANT THEM ALL SHOT ! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | SHIT ! $23 OIL PRICES, NO MORE FLARING, 18% INTEREST |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ...NOT EVEN EOG CAN MAKE A PROFIT WITH THESE PROBLEMS ! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I NEED MORE PUD's, MORE RESERVES...MORE MONEY ! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Boss, I cannot just make reserves up out of... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | YOU DOOMKOPH, WE HAVE BEEN LYING ABOUT RESERVES FOR 10 YEARS... |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, the SEC is already on our asses, they will... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | SWINE SHIT ! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE SCHTINKING SEC, THOSE IDIOTS... |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | AND I AM SICK OF SHAREHOLDERS TOO |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | THEY WANT FREE CASH FLOW...DIVIDENDS... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | NOBODY CAN DRILL THIS SHALE SHIT AND DO THAT ! I AM NOT |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | A MIRACLE WORKER...WHO ARE THESE IDIOTS ?!! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | ...AND FIND ME THAT DUMBASS ENGINEER WHO STARTED USING 18% TERMINAL DECLINE RATES |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I WANT THAT PERSON SHOT, SHOT I TELL YOU ! SHIT, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE ! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | HOW CAN I PAY ALL THE NOTES WITH THESE PROBLEMS ?! WHO |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | IN THE HELL DO THOSE BANKERS THINK THEY ARE ? SHIT ! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We are going to lose our jets... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | HOW CAN I FLY TO NAPE EVERY YEAR WITHOUT A JET ? THIS FORSCHTINKIN' |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | JOB IS WORTH WAY MORE THAN $ 18 MILLION A YEAR ! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I hired all you worms from Halcon... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | because...YOU SAID THIS TIME YOU COULD GET IT RIGHT, THAT THIS TIME WALL STREET WOULD LOVE US ! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | YOU DUMB BASTARDS CAN'T FIND OIL ON A GARAGE FLOOR ! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We must sell what assets we have left... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | we need to do another MLP, a royalty trust...FIND SOMEBODY TO DO A JV WITH |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | HELL, MAYBE THOSE NINKAPUTS AT OXY WILL BUY US ! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | See, we can go to work for Vicki Hollub. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Where is my chief financial officer ? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | He said he could keep the books cooked, that there would always be money... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | ...always. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I want that sumbitch shot before nightfall. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | This is it boys. Those asshole analysts on CNBC ruined us, our shareholders will |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | surely fire us all and send us to the Russian front. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It's colder there than North Dakota. |