| 00:00 - 00:03 | We will be hosting the Tourist Trophy |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | teams are arriving from across the West |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | including the returning champions from Vancouver |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and teams from Winnipeg, Kelowna |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and two from our rivals in Calgary |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I am not concerned |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we know which tires to run |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Captain... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | tires... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Tires will be a special handout |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | they will be Paul Gage Tires |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out unless your name is Leon, Dariusz, Robert, Rick or Ron |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Why the hell am I hearing only this now?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Our tires have more grip than the thickest peanut butter |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Who do they think they are? Insisting on which tires we must run. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I would like to know why we were not told of this |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Heads will roll |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I mean how can we prepare without adequate notice |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | The Tourist Trophy isn't some race in my basement |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We are racing some of the best racers in the country |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Captain, they were many emails going back months... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Emails?! You know full well I don't read my emails |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My captain, it will be the same for all teams |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't care if it's the same for everyone, I care only for our club's glory |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | This is Edmonton |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We have won many Grey Cups |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | not to mention five Stanley Cups |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | with one of the greatest hockey teams of all-time |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We are the "City of Champions" and don't you every forget it |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | You realize those bastards from Calgary have probably been preparing day and night for this event |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | As God is my witness |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Calgary must not win, they must finish behind both of our teams and everyone else |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And then there are the hippies from the coast |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We must take a long look at ourselves to become mentally tough |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | That is our path to success |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | There will be no more weak words |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Otherwise I will be strangling each and every one of you with my controller |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | This is our best chance to take home the trophy as THE best slot car club |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We must devote all efforts to this cause |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | That means no time with our wives and families |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You must eat, sleep and dream slot cars until it hurts |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, he's under a lot of pressure |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least we have some cars that are "tuned" |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | To get past scrutineering, we will need to hide our rule... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | ..."interpretations" |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The trick is distraction |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | One of you must cause a commotion during scrutineering |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | to distract the dunkompfs |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | This will be our plan |
