| 00:00 - 00:03 | According to all the intelligence we have so far |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The forgers are holed up in a farmhouse, just outside Berlin. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We've tracked several shipments of antique fountain ink |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and a stack of T201 beaters from the Tuscaloosa Trailer Park find |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | It's only a matter of time before the double signed Nap Lajoie/Fred Falkenberg cards hit the market |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Ok, Ok, not so bad |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | At least we have PSA and JSA as a last line of defence |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...oh man |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | PSA and JSA have dropped the ball |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They are authenticating everything that smells like money |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody who has paid more then $10 for a Bob Feller autograph please leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is unacceptable |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I submitted 3 Moe Berg signed cards to JSA just yesterday |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Are you telling me I paid 150 bucks for a f*#king guess? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The dealer I bought them from said they came |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | from the great Stuttgart find of 1938 |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Whatever the f*ck that means |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | T206 cards signed through the mail? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We should have known it was bullshit from the beginning |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My fuhrer, they told us they were good, the signatures matched up |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Are you out of your gottamn mind you idiot |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My fuhrer, Rube Marquard loved to sign that card |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | There wasn't but a handful of these around before 10 years ago |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Now everywhere |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You think they were growin them |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | on pig farms in Girard, Ohio? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Fell out of some attic in some grandma's house? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Fred Parent, Paddy Livingstone, Bob Rhoades, Jap Barbeau, Red Murray |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Nobody gave a sh*t about these guys in the last decade |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Now they're selling for over a grand apiece in auctions? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Of course there's funny business going on you assh*les |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I've spent thousands on this crap |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I don't know what's real and what's fake anymore |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Max Schmeling warned me about this and I didn't listen |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | First the Gretzky Wagner |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I was a poor artist then so I didn't care if some rich hockey player got ripped off |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Then the trimming and the Marciano letters and the fake Babe Ruth balls |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I ignored it all |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I thought I couldn't pass up this deal. It has to be real, it just HAS to |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Who the hell would forge an Elmer Flick autograph |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, he doesn't know Elmer Flick is your dad |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I can't do this anymore |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I think I'm going to go back to collecting mid-grade Topps cards |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | 75 Topps |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I love those stupid borders |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I want to feel like a child again. I can't do that if my stomach hurts all the time worrying about these TPA's |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | They can all go to hell for all I care |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Where's Moe Berg when you need him the most? |
