The Downfall "Brayden Smith"

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333 views12/23/2013

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00:00 - 00:03We laid out the plans to take over desert racing exactly as you asked us to.
00:04 - 00:05We made a video. And we posted a thread on RACE DEZERT.
00:05 - 00:07Our original post is written word for word exactly as you said it.
00:08 - 00:12We even made a graphic of our imaginary race team and used that as our avatar.
00:12 - 00:15but beyond that, we've done nothing but reply to the people of RDC.
00:17 - 00:19So, whats the deal? Who is giving me a trophy truck to race?
00:19 - 00:21We'll find out what they want.
00:24 - 00:26Brayden,
00:27 - 00:28um...
00:31 - 00:33Sir, its not going well.
00:34 - 00:36 Its actually terrible. A total shit show. Like really fucking bad. This was not the best way to go about this.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone here who doesnt get to race other peoples trophy trucks needs to leave the room immediately. GTFO
01:13 - 01:15ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
01:15 - 01:17How is it my brilliant fucking plan of going on the internet and tugging on peoples heart strings didnt work?
01:18 - 01:23It was fool proof! What did you guys do to fuck this up for me? I want a geiser! NOW! Gimme Gimme Gimme!
01:25 - 01:28What I'm asking for isn't that unreasonable.
01:29 - 01:31All I wanted was for people to buy a truck,
01:31 - 01:34spend a shit load of time and money prepping it.
01:34 - 01:37Then I show up and have all the fun racing. How could anyone
01:37 - 01:40in their right mind not jump at a chance like this? Are they stupid? This is the oportunity of a life time for them. I mean, seriously. I'm Brayden Fucking
01:40 - 01:42Brayden, thats not how it works.
01:42 - 01:46Don't you try and tell me "how it works". I'm 17. I know EVERYTHING!!!
01:46 - 01:48Well you might think that, But...
01:48 - 01:52Don't you dare try and tell me what I know! Im Brayden Smith. I almost bought a helmet once.
01:53 - 01:54I had those race dezert people running to give me guidance about safety.
01:56 - 01:57So how come they arent running to let me drive their race cars this time?
01:57 - 02:00What the hell do they want? Am I supposed to actually earn my shot at being a wheel man?
02:00 - 02:03How is everyone supposed to know how fast I probably am if i dont get a free trophy truck?
02:04 - 02:08This is my dream. I dont have time to waste being on a pit crew. Prepping and doing all that grunt work is for assholes.
02:08 - 02:13Brayden Smith is a driver! He doesn't do "work".
02:14 - 02:16All I wanted for Christmas was a fully funded race program handed to me. WTF? I'm wiling to put myself out there
02:17 - 02:21and wasnt even gonna charge anyone for letting me race their stuff. What are they worried about?
02:27 - 02:29My lack of experience? I did some donughts in my cousins ranger one time. So obviously
02:30 - 02:34I am qualified to beat Rob Mac like he's my step kid.
02:34 - 02:36have you seen his haircut?
02:41 - 02:42My age is an issue? What a load of crap! I mean how old is that Luke McMillan kid? Eleven?
02:43 - 02:47And he gets a Jimco? This is bullshit! I could school him and his smarty pants brother Dan. That guy cant do better than fourth place to save his life.
02:48 - 02:53Then theres that little squid fishDOOD. He has weaseled his way into more peoples races cars than anyone EVER!
02:54 - 02:56And hes a god damn midget! I cant believe he can even reach the gas pedal.
02:56 - 02:59He just dicks around online pretending to work on oil pumps and BAM, hes co dogging a TT in baja with Pflueger
03:00 - 03:02WHAT A FUCKING JOKE! Should I try and swing from Pat Daileys balls like fish does? It seems to be working pretty good for him.
03:04 - 03:07It's OK. Angie keeps Pats balls in her Louis Vuitton Purse.
03:14 - 03:16I thought after Pistol laughed in our faces back in September you guys woulda figured a way to get me a TT by now.
03:19 - 03:23And shut the hell up about that guy with the class nine. He's gotta be crazy to think im gonna give him a grand for the pleasure of skipping around the desert
03:25 - 03:26And RENTa trophy kart? Those are for beginners! I'm Brayden Fucking Smith! I dont walk before I run. Im really good at sports so obviously I don't RENT any
03:31 - 03:33If playin short stop in little league doesnt qualify me to have a race care at my disposal then what does? I guess i need to play golf like the other big shot
03:40 - 03:46If I can score under par on the back nine then Pat Daily would be carzy not to let me run his new ten car.
03:46 - 03:49I guess whoever wins the 1000 this year will have an asterisk after their name on the trophy. I mean, if I didn't race is their win really legit?
03:53 - 03:56Oh well, fuck it. I'm gonna join the forum over at Pirate. Im over this desert racing thing. Those guys over there will probably give me a fleet of rock craw