00:00 - 00:03 | Fox News has started calling races |
00:04 - 00:05 | The Senators from Wyoming and |
00:05 - 00:07 | Utah are solid red |
00:08 - 00:12 | Deb Fischer in Nebraska is going to hold her seat |
00:12 - 00:13 | and Bloomberg is still a Republican |
00:13 - 00:15 | and he's still in New York |
00:17 - 00:19 | Great we'll have the Senate |
00:19 - 00:21 | and the House for two more years |
00:24 - 00:26 | President Trump |
00:27 - 00:28 | The House.. |
00:31 - 00:33 | The House has been lost by at least 15 seats |
00:34 - 00:36 | Nancy Pelosi will be the next Speaker |
00:53 - 00:54 | Everyone out except for |
00:54 - 00:55 | John Kelly |
00:55 - 00:56 | Jared |
00:56 - 00:57 | Don Jr. |
00:57 - 00:58 | and Kayne |
01:13 - 01:15 | This is Fake News. |
01:15 - 01:17 | Breibart MAGAs are calling that Fake News |
01:18 - 01:19 | Vladimir promised me |
01:19 - 01:25 | that his bots would suppress democractic turnout |
01:25 - 01:28 | Oh God I miss Mother Russia |
01:29 - 01:31 | It's not to late stop this |
01:31 - 01:34 | We'll declare marshal law and cancel SNL |
01:34 - 01:37 | Turn off CNN and erase all the odd numbered amendments |
01:37 - 01:40 | Golf instead baseball. The Red Sox won again?! |
01:40 - 01:42 | President Trump, we've held off invoking the 25th amendment |
01:42 - 01:46 | 25 is an odd number. White it out! |
01:46 - 01:48 | President Trump, the list of impeachable offsenses is already long |
01:48 - 01:52 | You want to see long? Compare my hands to a baby's |
01:53 - 01:54 | Impeachment? |
01:56 - 01:57 | I only needed to become President |
01:57 - 02:00 | Because we were going bankrupt |
02:00 - 02:03 | And I can't distinguish my kids from my wifes |
02:04 - 02:08 | I owe so many bad people so much money |
02:08 - 02:10 | My Twitter corpus is the only real thing I have |
02:10 - 02:13 | I Tweet on a tiny 2012 Android phone |
02:14 - 02:16 | It's impossible to make emojis |
02:17 - 02:21 | I am a very stable genius. Even more than that handsome Rocket Man |
02:27 - 02:29 | Lowest unemployment ever |
02:30 - 02:34 | Highest stock market. That's all me |
02:34 - 02:36 | Body slammed and slut shamed by history |
02:41 - 02:42 | I just wanted my daddy to be proud |
02:43 - 02:47 | His small loan of $415 million could have been better invested in Pets.com |
02:48 - 02:53 | Why did Taylor Swift have to get political now? |
02:54 - 02:56 | Barron and Tiffany tell me to shake it off |
02:56 - 02:59 | I got two supreme court justices confirmed |
03:00 - 03:02 | An abusive alcoholic who can bench more than any of you |
03:04 - 03:07 | Melania, after the divorce you'll star on The View |
03:14 - 03:16 | I just want to watch the ape channel |
03:19 - 03:23 | Those beautiful creatures understand me |
03:25 - 03:26 | Call Robert Muller |
03:31 - 03:33 | Send him my tax returns and the pee tapes |
03:40 - 03:46 | Pency better live up to his end of the bargin with his pardon pen |
03:46 - 03:49 | I'm not going to live my last 6 months in jail |
03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe I'll reregister as a Democrat |