00:00 - 00:03 | Every polling booth has been wrapped in plastic |
00:04 - 00:05 | We took down their posters everywhere |
00:05 - 00:07 | and put ours up, here and here |
00:08 - 00:12 | The Blueshirts are out in force on every street |
00:12 - 00:15 | It's been a show of strength, we couldn't have done anything more. |
00:17 - 00:19 | The natural order has been restored |
00:19 - 00:21 | Wentworth will remain a blue ribbon Liberal seat. |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Morrison |
00:27 - 00:28 | There's been a swing... |
00:31 - 00:33 | ...of more than 20% from the LNP |
00:34 - 00:36 | Kerryn Phelps has won |
00:53 - 00:58 | All the leftards who said we should run a female candidate in Wentworth, go outside with the women. |
01:13 - 01:15 | What is wrong with these Eastern suburbs' bastards? |
01:15 - 01:17 | We are Wentworth's born to rule party |
01:18 - 01:23 | This is a nightmare: Independent, Jewish AND gay. |
01:25 - 01:28 | And to top it all off, she's a woman! |
01:29 - 01:31 | It's like the politically correct quadrella from Hell! |
01:31 - 01:34 | We have held this seat since federation |
01:34 - 01:37 | That's 1901, long before lesbians were even invented! |
01:37 - 01:40 | I thought she wasn't running because she had HIV, why is she even here?!? |
01:40 - 01:42 | That was just a vicious rumour we tried to start last week. |
01:42 - 01:46 | Well now we're as popular as needles in strawberries... with chlamydia |
01:46 - 01:48 | We were trying to appeal to the party's conservative base |
01:48 - 01:52 | Why not something clever like, "Wentworth, where the bloody hell are you?" |
01:53 - 01:54 | We got our tax cuts through, 5% unemployment, |
01:56 - 01:57 | we gave everyone a bagel |
01:57 - 02:00 | and every surf club a pile of money, except for that schmuck at Tamarama. |
02:00 - 02:03 | No soup for you, Mr ALP surf club president Tim Murray! |
02:04 - 02:08 | We risked WW3 moving the Israeli embassy to Jerusalem |
02:08 - 02:13 | and pissed off every Muslim between here and the Arctic circle |
02:14 - 02:16 | and despite ALL that, they still didn't vote for us! |
02:17 - 02:21 | We backed that ranga clown Hanson that it's #oktobewhite |
02:27 - 02:29 | Noone told me Sharma was Indian |
02:30 - 02:34 | Tony and Potatohead didn't think this one through |
02:34 - 02:36 | Cash splash? It was like a golden shower of cash! |
02:41 - 02:42 | 20%? That's the biggest swing |
02:43 - 02:47 | since they hung that wop bastard Mussolini |
02:48 - 02:53 | I blame Halal Mal, his traitor son and the Dickhead for Warringah |
02:54 - 02:56 | We're going to have to lift our prayer game this Sunday |
02:56 - 02:59 | I grew up in bloody Wentworth, my cop dad used to arrest lesbians |
03:00 - 03:02 | Why didn't they elect us? |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't give up Julie, you might get Veterans' Affairs |
03:14 - 03:16 | It's all good fellas |
03:19 - 03:23 | Don't worry, keep your chins up |
03:25 - 03:26 | We can reinstate Barnaby as Deputy PM |
03:31 - 03:33 | We'll get the band back together. |
03:40 - 03:46 | We exhumed John Howard for this campaign, we could try Menzies next time |
03:46 - 03:49 | After all, I'm a marketing genius, right? |
03:53 - 03:56 | It's not easy being a white male. |