Wirehouse CEO Hitler Reacts

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613 views10/20/2018
The CEO of a major wirehouse bank (Hitler) responds to attacks on his fee based brokerage business

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00:00 - 00:03Fee-based advisors are gaining market share
00:04 - 00:05Robo-advisors are attacking.
00:05 - 00:07Competitors claim zero commissions.
00:08 - 00:12The board insists on 200 more basis points in margin!
00:12 - 00:15When the correction comes AUM will drop!
00:17 - 00:19Everything will be fine.
00:19 - 00:21The talking penguin ads will fix everything.
00:24 - 00:26Who is going to tell him what Steiner did?
00:27 - 00:28Penguins didn’t test well.
00:31 - 00:33We’re going with Itchy & Scratchy.
00:34 - 00:36Millenials like them.
00:53 - 00:58These people will stay here: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs and Burgdorf.
01:13 - 01:15Launching penguins was an order!
01:15 - 01:17It'll be bigger than “When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen.”
01:18 - 01:23Why would anyone question my marketing skillz?
01:25 - 01:28Do they even have a Twitter blue check mark?
01:29 - 01:31Steiner has a blog though.
01:31 - 01:34We can’t just put customers in ETFs like competitors.
01:34 - 01:37Our overhead for things like research is enormous.
01:37 - 01:40The sell-side makes it worse with incessant channel checks!
01:40 - 01:42You're insulting people who tell us “great quarter.”
01:42 - 01:46They get paid by people like me for being cheeleaders.
01:46 - 01:48What would happen to earnings calls?
01:48 - 01:52Fiddlesticks!
01:53 - 01:54Steiner spent years getting an MBA.
01:56 - 01:57But mostly took trips to vacation destinations!
01:57 - 02:00He fought expansion into funds of funds.
02:00 - 02:03We missed sales loads, high fees and surrender charges!
02:04 - 02:08He convinced me to ban sales commissions on retirement accounts.
02:08 - 02:13More of our elderly customers die as each day passes.
02:14 - 02:16Cross selling is getting harder!
02:17 - 02:21Our unreasonable employees want "work life balance."
02:27 - 02:29Cold calling is beneath them!
02:30 - 02:34Many keep 40% of revenue they generate!
02:34 - 02:36Our pretax margins are just 28%.
02:41 - 02:42Earning interest on cash balances isn't enough!
02:43 - 02:47We must earn more marks from marks!
02:48 - 02:53I have seven mortgages!
02:54 - 02:56My Gulfstream isn't paid off!
02:56 - 02:59Beach week is next month!
03:00 - 03:02My broker couldn’t generate alpha if his life depended on it!
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry. We sold your vested restricted stock.
03:14 - 03:16What about a fiduciary standard for me?
03:19 - 03:23Why didn’t I open a Vanguard account by myself?
03:25 - 03:26Jim Simons at Renaissance won’t take my calls.
03:31 - 03:33David Tepper at Appaloosa won’t respond to my emails.
03:40 - 03:46 I even left voice mails for Jim Chanos. No response!
03:46 - 03:49I’m too old to be the next Warren Buffett.
03:53 - 03:56The basis points are slipping away.